Never Close Our Eyes
by iheartShules
Summary: Both Joss and John relive the fateful shooting in their nightmares, but with differing outcomes. When reality sets in on what truly happened that night, they need to figure out what to do about their feelings that were revealed to them in that morgue. DEFINITELY CAREESE ::Spoilers up to 3x09, AU since Carter lives. Rating might go up later.::
1. Joss's Nightmare

_**Author's note: Okay, so I know this is really late to the party but I have been sick, busy, and shopping in that order, which left little to no time for writing. I'm happy there are still fellow Careesers out there still willing to write for them even if the show abandoned ship. Because I will be doing the same, I still have more Moments fics to include in the series, the Time Lapse sequel is coming, some fluffy one shot fics are coming as well for them. But much of those will be updated and beginning to be posted in the new year.**_

_**About this fic, this one is days after The Crossing, which you will see, and before anyone reads it is definitely AU because Carter is alive. She doesn't die in my story(none of my characters die in my stories I'm incapable of writing it) but I do try to show what's going on in the characters' heads during the moment of the shooting and afterwards. But with the being said I won't spoil anything else for you and let you hopefully enjoy my version of the events.**_

_**********italics are dream sequences***********_

* * *

"_If my number was up I'm just glad I was with you." His soft spoken words were sincere, heartfelt, and made the flutter of butterflies that were starting to cascade in her stomach as she eyed him flutter harder. Her mind slid to their brief but powerful kiss. The light way his soft lips touched hers. She couldn't tear her gaze away from him. She couldn't make herself forget the way he looked at her, touched her soul when he admitted she saved him. She didn't hear a sound besides her thundering heart, the quick intake of his breath. "No one I rather be with at the end."_

_Joss stood there unable to breathe, to say a word to him. His small, almost shy smile he slid her while he proceeded to blow apart her world was soul shattering. What was happening? What was going on with them? They were just friends, but he kissed her. He said she saved him, changed him for the better, he wanted her by his side at the end, and she felt herself drowning in those expressive eyes of his._

"_Time's up, I told you I'd end you." It happened so quick she didn't have a chance to react. She watched almost in slow motion as Simmons appeared from the dark, like a sinister shadow, the glint of the barrel of his weapon, the flashes as he shot, not once but twice. She could hear the sharp intake of breath from John, heard the grunt of pain, and heard the sound of the bullet ripping into his body. She felt some of his blood splatter onto her. Rage so pure filled her. She never believed such anger could be inside her. But this despicable man just shot an unarmed and completely defenseless man, she at-least had her pistol and vest on. _

"_No, not again." She aimed her pistol and shot. She was usually a good aim, but this time it was different for her. It was personal, she didn't care what she hit, she just wanted to injure, to hurt, to kill. He was aiming for John again when she nailed him in the shoulder as she felt her emotions running on high. She heard the next gunshot, she felt the slug nail her right in the middle of her chest, and she was knocked onto the ground gasping for air. It hurt like hell. She landed hard on the pavement which would smart tomorrow. She couldn't breathe, couldn't move from the pain in her chest._

"_Joss, Joss! I'm here." She heard him, heard the sucking sound he made and it scared her. But the damned bullet that was still seated in her vest was stealing her voice, stealing her breath so she couldn't assure him she was alright. She was safe. It was him that she was worried about. She felt him sliding behind her before her head was pillowed in his lap. She sucked in ragged breaths._

"_I-I'm fine, John." She grabbed at her chest. Her brown gaze zeroed in on Finch as he stood in the middle of the street as a payphone sounded. He looked shell-shocked. "Finch, I need your help!" She ignored her ache in her chest as she sat up and away from John's lap. His eyes were half shut. "Get your car!" she screamed, turning to look back at the elder man who hadn't moved still. He was spurred into action at her tone of voice. John was losing so much blood, too much blood. She looked back down at the man that laid on the cold pavement and she'd be damned if he was going to die._

"_You wore your vest," his words were strangled._

"_Never leave home without it," she whispered back as she applied direct pressure to the wound to his side. The desperate gasping noise he was making made her very worried that the bullet nicked his lung. "Just like you taught me, John."_

"_Good girl," his eyes slid shut all the way, and she felt desperate._

"_JOHN! Stay with me!" she shouted. Harold was beside her. "John, no!" He wasn't moving. She moved her hand to his neck to search for a pulse. "You can't leave me! You said I was stuck with you, please come back, I need you." When her fingers didn't register a pulse, she felt a sob escape her. "No, no, this isn't happening!" She grabbed his shoulders and shook them softly. "JOHN! JOHN!"_

* * *

"Jocelyn, wake up." She sat up straight in the sofa chair she was lounging in as she screamed. She kicked out her legs wildly as the nightmare had been so vivid, so realistic she truly thought John was gone. She blinked as tears slid down her cheeks, as she eyed his unmoving form in the hospital bed in the safe house. She grabbed his limp hand, needing to touch him to make sure he was truly with her still. "Are you alright?"

"Y-yeah," her voice trembled. "Just a nightmare, Finch." She didn't hear him say anything but she did feel a gentle touch on her shoulder. She removed her gaze from John for a brief moment to see a glass of water in his other hand held out to her. She took it appreciatively.

"I could take a turn sitting with him if you want," Finch offered softly.

"No," She felt terrible at her tone. He was being nice, being a friend and here she was snapping at him. But she couldn't leave John, she just couldn't. What if he awoke and needed her. No, she wasn't going anywhere until he opened his eyes and she was face to face with him. His injuries were life threatening, the bullet had nicked an artery not a lung, making him nearly bleed out before they even got him to one of the doctors they had helped prior. The doctor gave John a decent outlook, but until John opened his eyes and gave her one of his rare smiles, then and only then would she know he was truly going to be alright. "I'm sorry, Finch, I didn't mean to snap at you."

"It's quite alright, Joss, you are worried about him as we all are."

"I know," she slid her gaze from the unconscious man in the bed to her friend. Like her, he appeared to have not slept much. He was just as worried about John as she was, but she also saw something else written in the lines on his exhausted face. "What's wrong?"

"I got a new number this morning,"

"Who?"

"Officer Simmons, and I can't help but think his number coming up is not because he's the perpetrator."

"Oh," she looked back down at John. She could care less if this man was saved or not. He shot an unarmed, defenseless man, a man she was beginning to realize she felt deeply for, and she was supposed to care that his life was in danger? Usually she had empathy for even the most hardened criminals. But not Simmons.

"You sound as if you don't care."

"Because I don't Finch, he shot and nearly killed John, whose holding on barely; so no, I don't care if he lives or dies."

"I'm worried that Ms. Shaw might be trying to kill him. I haven't been able to reach her all day. She was adamant about him needing to die from the first moment we brought John here and his outlook was bleak as Doctor Farouk Madani worked desperately to save him."

"Can't say I blame her, John sort of rubs off on you." He did more than rubbed off on her. She had used a lot of John's techniques in trying to bring down HR. She couldn't help but wonder had she allowed him to help her earlier, would he be in this hospital bed right now fighting for his life? But she couldn't live in 'what ifs,' she couldn't go back and undo anything, all she knew was she didn't give a damn about Officer Patrick Simmons' safety.

"Please, Jocelyn, you are the voice of reason to many of us and I think Ms. Shaw might actually like you. I need you to stop her."

"I'm not leaving him, Finch." She just couldn't, not when there was so much she needed to say to him, so much she needed to get cleared up from him. They needed to talk about that kiss, they needed to talk about when she said that she would hate him forever if something happened to him, they needed to talk about that. She wanted to lick and kiss that scar he got from the Hezbollah surgeon then search for more scars, she wanted to kiss his soft lips again and again, but most of all she just wanted to drown herself in those blue eyes that rivaled the ocean. "I'll try to call her, but I won't leave his side," she offered, forcing her gaze off John to look up at Finch. She could see he wished she would do more, but he nodded his head curtly seemingly taking what he could. He limped towards the door, picking up the purse she had dropped off and had not touched it since. The only time she left his side was to change into different clothes, take a shower, and to hit the bathroom when the urge arose. Her kid was safe with his dad leaving her a chance to be by this man's side.

She took the purse from him before rifling through it until she found her phone. She pulled it out, quickly found the woman's unknown number and speed dialed her. The woman answered on the first ring.

"Hey, Carter, how's he holding up?" Joss smiled softly. Finch was sure Shaw only liked her, but she had a feeling the woman liked Finch and John just fine.

"John is holding his own, he hasn't opened his pretty eyes yet, but the doctor thinks he'll be alright. You would know if you bothered to show up from time to time." It had been days since John was shot, she had her own need to go in search of Simmons but his recovery was more important to her than revenge.

"You know why I'm not, it's why you're calling. I'm sure Finch's machine spat out Simmons' number right? He asked you to call to find me, right?"

"Sort of. I'm worried about you though."

"Don't be. Simmons is going to down for shooting Reese and you, I got some help."

"You don't know many people, so I'm assuming your help is my partner Fusco. Put him on the line!" she demanded watching as Finch fidgeted as he played with John's blanket.

"No, he's not my help; he'd just slow me down just like you would, Carter, with all that 'he needs to go to prison,' bullshit." she shook her head as she smiled ruefully, Shaw had an interesting outlook on things like morality, men, and dangerous situations. "No offense of course."

"None taken, so who _is_ with you?"

"Finch will know; you take care of Reese and I'll take care of Simmons," Shaw said before she hung up. Carter sighed, sure that Finch wasn't going to like the answer she gave him.

"Well, what did Ms. Shaw have to say?" Finch asked, still picking at John's blanket.

"It seems Shaw has a little helper in her endeavor on bringing down Simmons."

"Is it Detective Fusco?"

"No, but she said you would know who it was, Finch, she sounds determined to take down Simmons. I'm not sure if you could stop her even if you tried." She flung her unwanted phone back into her purse before eyeing the elder man. She saw realization dawn in his bright blue eyes.

"Oh dear, oh god, I know who she is referring too. Is it alright if I leave you with Mr. Reese?"

"Of course, we'll be fine." She smiled. "I got Bear as company." She motioned to the dog who had resumed his position on the opposite side of the hospital bed, sitting with his head on John's hand when Finch moved away.

"If there is a change in his condition please call me immediately, Jocelyn." She nodded her head in agreement, knowing how much John meant to him, he had that effect on people without even realizing it. Finch moved with flourish, she'd never seen him move quite so quickly before and he was gone in a flash. Her eyes strayed back to the unmoving man in bed, willing him to awaken, before beginning to twirl his soft gray hair at his temple between her fingers and waited.

* * *

Author's note: Thank you to Elaine for the wonderful read and proof of this for me. I am so happy you are willing to continue to read my stuff for me. I took your advice, although I'm sure some readers won't be happy to learn that I decided to cut this chapter into two. There was definitely more to this chapter in John's POV, but now it's Chapter 2.

Sidenote, I kept John shot because in the episode of The Crossing when they showed Careese sharing their convo about the scars there was clearly no vest on, he was arrested, and released then shot so no time to get one on. But I had Carter put one on since she was clearly wearing a new change of clothes so either it was a different day after she handed in Quinn, or she went home to change after giving Quinn to the FBI and before going back to work as a reinstated detective. But either way she would wear one(*shakes fist at show*) since Simmons was lurking around somewhere. There is no way I'd believe Joss wouldn't wear a vest! So that is why John was still shot and why she wasn't, just a heads up if anyone wanted to know my thought process for this story, which I think is a probably NOT lol.

Well thanks for reading there is more to come for this, it will probably be only 6-8 chapters long. I was going to go the whole route of making this some huge thing, but changed my mind. I have too many other stories going on for me to handle another long story on top of it all. Chapter 2 will be posted sometime this week, not sure when but I'm aiming for Thursday! Again thanks for reading, because LONG LIVE CAREESE!


	2. John's Nightmare

_**Author's note: I try usually to not have many beginning author's notes, but there are two minor things I want to clarify before you begin this chapter. The first is many of the chapters are going to be in each Joss, and John's POV on aspects of what happened in the morgue, and what is currently going on between them. I like to get into the psyche of characters to try to get a glimpse of why they did or didn't do something, and I find both Joss and John fascinating characters, broken in their own ways finding themselves drawn to one another. Also Shaw, Finch, and Fusco are playing minor roles in this as I am trying to get just an inner look at Careese and their feelings for one another. I'm not doing any numbers, or making a B story plot like I try to do in other stories this just revolves mainly around them in which the other characters will interact with them to further them along.**_

_**Secondly, I want to thank everyone that is reading, commenting, favoriting, and or following this story. I am so overjoyed that many of the Careesers are still here, and loving them. I am so thankful that us Careesers can come together, and still find enjoyment of these two lovely characters even though the unthinkable happened on the show. So together we can carry on the beautiful Jocelyn Carter, and the fulfilling love story of Careese.**_

_**Also the italics are dream sequences.**_

_**Disclaimer:(I always forget these things) I don't own anything, the show, the characters, nada, I just like to take them out to play. Besides if I did Carter would still be alive but that's neither here nor there. **_

_**And to the showrunners: BOO YA BITCHES, THEY LIVE ON!**_

_**Enjoy,**_

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"_If my number was up I'm just glad I was with you." He stared at her. She was a dream come true, she was staring at him with so much light he was sure the blackened soul inside him lightened just the tiniest bit. She was everything he dared never to hope for. She was everything he was sure couldn't ever touch his life. But yet she was his constant. Yet she never wavered in her belief in him, even though there were times when he didn't deserve it. When he was lashing out at the world because of what happened with Kara, what happened at Rikers, he had taken it out on her which was uncalled for, but he was helpless to stop himself. But she forgave him anyway, even when everything was falling apart around her, she forgave him; even if he couldn't forgive himself for avoiding her, for distancing himself from her, and most of all for abandoning her when she needed him the most. She truly did have a beautiful soul if she could forgive him all that without a blink of an eye. "No one I would rather be with at the end."_

_John was being brutally honest with her and himself. He was so used to playing his cards close to his chest, never revealing too much, the less people knew the less they could use it against you. He was good at keeping his emotions under lock and key, keeping everyone at arm's length...except her. She was so easy to let in, so easy to be with, and even when his world crumbled in around him, she was the light he saw at the end of the long, dark tunnel. That kiss in the morgue was meant to show her how she touched him inside, how she saved him, and changed him. But he had wanted to deepen it, wanted to seek more of her than the gentle brushing of his lips against hers. He had been afraid too. He had been so afraid of her rejecting him, so he ended the kiss before it truly began, and now he felt the urge to show her exactly how he truly felt. He felt like he was drowning in her, he felt happy, the corners of his mouth lifted in the tiniest smile. Maybe she wouldn't reject him, maybe, just maybe she was waiting for him to make the first move, and he was finally ready to make it.  
_

"_Time's up, I told you I'd end you." It happened so quickly. One minute he was alone with Joss on the sidewalk ready to make the first move which he hadn't done with a woman since Jessica, the next Simmons appeared out of thin air, gun aimed at him before pulling the trigger again and again. The physical pain rocketed through his body but nothing compared to the emotional torment as he laid helpless on the pavement, listening to Joss's anguish cry of 'no, not again' just before more gunfire sounded and she landed on the pavement near him. She made a gasping noise, he felt her blood spray him a little, and he knew it in an instant she wasn't wearing her vest._

"_Joss, Joss! I'm here," He forced out; even though his body screamed in agony he crawled his way to her while the payphone's shrill ring was the only sound he heard. In his pain, all that mattered was her and only her. He lifted her head into his lap. "It's okay."_

"_I-I need to see my boy." Her breath was coming out much too fast, just like the blood that was pouring out of her wound, and he could see the panic and fear in her eyes. He cupped her shoulders willing her to relax a little, just enough until the ambulance got there to save her. He didn't care about himself, they just needed to save her. "I need to tell him-"_

"_And you will. And you will, just stay with me." He didn't even feel his pain anymore, it felt like his soul was being lifted out of his body while she writhed in agony. He couldn't bare it to see her suffering so much, tears clouded his eyes. He sat up a little, cradling her to him. He didn't even know where Finch was, damn it, but more importantly where the hell was that ambulance at?_

"_P-promise me, y-you'll look in o-on him." She struggled for breath as she forced the words out. He trembled slightly, this sounded like a goodbye. He refused to say goodbye. She was going to be fine, she had to be because he couldn't go on without her, he couldn't lose her._

"_I won't have to because you're going to make it, okay?"_

"_Promise me, you'll tell him." He stared at her. The almost desperate way she said the words, the struggle for breath, and he was helpless to say or do anything else but to make her more at ease while they waited for the ambulance to arrive._

"_He knows, Joss." He stroked her cheek gently. "He knows." Their eyes met and he was scared shitless at the look in her eyes. He was losing her._

"_John, don't let this-" her words shuddered to a stop. He watched her as her eyes rolled in the back of her head. He shook inside. No, this wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening._

"_Joss, g-od" his voice trembled as he checked for a pulse. He didn't feel anything, he felt empty inside. No, he couldn't live without her. Why wasn't it him? Why wasn't he the one to die? Why were they taking her from him? Tears filled his eyes as he leaned down and kissed her forehead. The pain he was numb to, began throbbing, but the pain in his heart and soul was much too great. He pulled his lips from her clammy forehead as a sob escaped him. He cradled her lifeless body to him as tears streamed down his cheeks, and uncontrollable sobs escaped him as he wept, knowing that when Joss died she took his heart and soul along with her._

* * *

"John! John, relax and concentrate on breathing." He shook as he fought the images of Joss dying in his arms, he never got to tell her how he felt, and he died the moment she did. "John, please listen to my voice and relax, you're going to hurt yourself." Her angelic voice filled his ear and he immediately stopped struggling. He hurt everywhere, from the tips of his toes to the roots of his hair, not a single spot on his body didn't, but none of it mattered besides hearing her voice again. "John, can you open your eyes for me?"

He was helpless to do anything but her command. He struggled and willed himself to cooperate with her gentle urging. When he finally managed to lift his heavy lids they slammed back shut when the light that greeted him was too damned bright. "Try again, John." He moaned as her honeyed voice could compel him to jump off a bridge if she so wished it. But his need to see her face drove his desire to succeed at keeping his eyelids up. He blinked them open and they slid shut, but he determinedly got them open longer and longer with each time he opened them until they finally remained opened. He stared up at her pretty face, the light around her made her look like she was a beautiful angel, and he was petrified she really had perished from his life. "Hey, you." Tears welled up in her chocolate orbs.

"H-hey you," he croaked back.

"Oh thank god," she whimpered as tears slid down her cheeks. "I thought I was going to lose you, I thought I was going to have to hate you forever." She laughed and cried at the same time.

"I told you, you're stuck with me." She linked their fingers together. "You're really here right, Joss?"

"What do you mean?" she leaned into him as if she was having a hard time hearing him. He realized he wasn't speaking too loudly. He looked around with just his eyes in search of where they were. They were at one of their safe houses, he was in a hospital bed, and he couldn't move anything besides his eyes. He felt her gentle fingers on his cheek and his gaze slid to her again.

"I thought Simmons shot you in the chest, you weren't wearing your vest, and you died in my arms." She shook her head rubbing her fingers across his cheek in silent soothing.

"No, I never leave home without my vest like you taught me John. You and Finch taught me how to be paranoid, remember? It was you that almost died in my arms. Simmons shot you twice, you didn't have your vest on or even a god damn gun to protect yourself. I swear I hope Shaw kills him." He felt a slight tremble in her.

"No, you don't." She looked him dead in the eyes before nodding her head.

"Yeah, I do." He closed his eyes a little, he wasn't going to argue with her about it. He was sure she was just angry right now, but there was no way Joss, who believed in the system flaws and all, would wish Shaw to kill Simmons in an execution. She wasn't like that, even with Quinn she risked her life to get him arrested for what he had done. She was caring, intelligent, a bad-ass when she needed to be, she was fierce and protective, but most importantly she was pure. Pure in the heart, mind and soul, which made men and women like him strive to do better, to be better. She never set out to change him but he did it because he wanted to because of her. Joss didn't know about the effect she had on people which was the beauty of it, because it's simply who she is. "Here, drink this." Her voice drew him out of his thoughts, as his eyes slid half shut but he stubbornly refused to allow himself to fall back into oblivion. She appeared in his line of vision again holding a glass of water. She slid an arm under his shoulders and neck to help lift him a little. He shifted to help her, and lifted his hand to take hold of the glass, she tsked him before moving the glass out of his reach. He weakly dropped his hand back onto the bed realizing she wished to do it herself. She helped him drag in bits of water; when he had enough she removed her arm and placed the glass on a table near them.

"What day is it?" his eyes caressed her as she fixed his blanket. He longed to reach up his hand to brush his fingertips against her soft, dark, and smooth skin; however he couldn't seem to force the fatigue and weakness out of him to even move a muscle.

"Today is Friday, it's been a few days since you were shot, it was touch and go for a while but the doctor said you would pull through. You've been asleep ever since and healing slowly, but your doctor has been extremely happy with your progress." He nodded, his lids felt heavy again, having a harder time remaining awake than just a few moments ago. "You had us all scared, you said you couldn't lose me well the same goes for myself, John, I can't lose you either." his eyes opened wider trying to keep from answering the beckoning call to sleep when he heard the vulnerable hitch in her voice. He glanced up at her seeing the look on her face, seeing she was baring herself, completely and utterly opening herself up to him. "Don't do that again to me, got it?" He saw a hint of unshed tears in her eyes, and her raw emotion ate at him.

"Yes ma'am," he whispered. He felt like saying more, but his mouth seemed to not work anymore. He lost days now thanks to sleep, he had so much to say to her, and he made an unintelligible sound as he struggled to remain awake. No, please he didn't want to sleep again. The nightmare of her dying in his arms was still fresh in his mind and heart. He needed to tell her what he felt for her, as it was his last chance before he slipped into the looming abyss that was drawing ever near.

"Stop fighting sleep, John." She fluffed his pillow a little for him. "I've got to call Finch to give him the good news, he's been worried sick about you." He tried to keep his eyes open but it was becoming increasingly hard. He felt her fingers in his hair lightly massaging his scalp.

"Joss, I..." his words were barely audible, his eyes kept sliding shut for longer each time, and he finally lost the battle to remain awake long enough to finish telling her that he loved her as he was enveloped in her warmth as he cascaded into the blackness.

* * *

Author's note: As you can see I used The Crossing's true ending as John's nightmare(as it is mine as well), which thankfully he was awakened from(unfortunately for us we can't be) it. The other thing I want to make sure everyone knows when I mentioned John's first move since Jessica, I meant yes both Kara and Zoe have slept with him, but Kara was just sex, and Zoe made the first moves with him. At least that's how I always viewed it she flirted with him, kissed him, and so forth, but with Joss he opened up to her first, kissed her first, and wanted to make a move to let her know his feelings had grown past 'just friendship'.

I hope you enjoyed, chapter 3 might take a little longer to post I'm tweaking it(and when I say tweak I mean change nearly 90& of it lol), and going to resend to Elaine to read for me, plus with the holidays upcoming I'm gonna be busy as I'm sure everyone else will be too. Thank you for reading, and happy holidays to everyone! XOXOXOXOXOXO


	3. Moving Forward?

_**Author's note: I hope everyone had wonderful holidays! This chapter is long...7000 words long, but hopefully it won't drag on too long for you guys. **_

* * *

A week had passed since John finally awoke from his deep sleep, a week since she finally felt relieved that he wasn't going to slip through her fingers. He was bitching about being weak as a baby, about having a watcher just in-case he tried to escape, and just generally was the worst patient she'd ever seen in her life. The man hated being injured, severely enough that it left him sidelined for too long. No wonder he never took a vacation, it wasn't merely just because the numbers never stopped coming, he would go stir crazy before the end of it.

She walked up the steps of the precinct; this was going to be her first real day back at her detective's job which she so sorely missed. She had barely worked one full day when Simmons' had shot at them. The captain forced her on administrative leave to speak to a department shrink. Once she was deemed fit for the job again, she could come back. At first it hadn't been much of a problem, she needed time to be with John and watch over him until he opened those beautiful blue eyes of his. But after she was sure he was safe and going to be alright, she grew listless. The shrink forced her to endure three pointless sessions before she was deemed fit for the job and allowed off of administrative leave. It was good to be FINALLY back.

As she walked into the precinct, officers in uniform were coming and going, some nodded their heads at her while others ignored her. Joss wasn't stupid, she wasn't exactly liked because of her attitude and because she didn't really get close to anyone. She could never trust anyone but herself. But she now knew different. She had a circle of people she could trust, her partner in need of redemption, Lionel Fusco; a strange emotionally bereft ex-assassin, Sam Shaw; a paranoid and decidedly odd man, Harold Finch; and an emotionally damaged ex-CIA agent, John Reese. She could trust all of them with her life and for that she was grateful. She entered the bull pen, hearing the sounds of ringing phones, voices of other detectives, fingers smacking keyboards, and the sound of moving paper. Yes, it was good to be back, she smiled appreciating the scene in front of her before moving forward towards her desk.

"How's the big guy?" She looked up from the tiled floor as she walked. Fusco was walking with a steaming hot mug of coffee along with a donut to his own desk across from hers. Some things change while others remained the same.

His question drew a soft smile onto her face while she thought of the man. "John's doing better, but he's grouching about being restricted to bed rest still. Shaw is stuck on John duty right now, much to both of their dismay."

"'John duty,' knowing the way he is, that's a fate worse than death." She pointed a finger at him with a smirk.

"He's not that bad, just restless and used to doing things himself," she assured him before sitting down at her desk. She felt at home. She missed being a detective, she loved this job it was what she always wished to do with her life after she left the military. She wanted to make the world a better place, she wanted to help make the streets a safer place not just for her kid, but for all the faceless and nameless strangers in New York.

"Yeah, well wonder boy should be in a pretty good mood since Simmons is pushing up daisies." Simmons had died nearly a week ago, but it wasn't thanks to Shaw who had been on a vengeful path with the help of an old enemy in Root. The same woman that had kidnapped Finch and who she and John had gone to Texas to find. Needless to say, Finch had flipped when he realized that's who his newest asset was working with to find Simmons. Shaw hadn't thought things through though, just driven to do what she typically did when she lost something or someone: find the person that took it from her, and exterminate them. But Finch had called her in to reason with the young woman that she was safe and revenge was not needed. He believed she was the only one Shaw liked and would listen to, so she had agreed reluctantly leaving John's side.

Joss had tried to get through to her that she was safe, she didn't die, and that Simmons deserved to go to prison for what he did, not bite a bullet. Killing him was the easy way, but when it wasn't enough to get Shaw to drop the pistol she had aimed at Simmons' heart she realized the reason she was out there wasn't over her, but because of John. Shaw didn't know John had awakened, she hadn't known he was pulling out of the woods, going to survive, and she felt protective of the younger woman.

Shaw was so misunderstood, Finch was sure she didn't like them and if she knew John, he didn't even question her; he just worked side by side with her. But Shaw did like them, valued them, valued the job they gave her even if she couldn't express herself in any other way, she expressed what they meant to her through her anger. In vengeance, in going after the man that nearly shot and killed John. Once she knew why the woman was doing what she was doing, it was easier to talk her down. John had once told her about Shaw's partner that was shot and killed, his name was Cole. She noticed the hand that held the pistol trembled at the mention of him, then stiffened when Simmons had moved the tiniest bit. She told Shaw that John was going to survive, that he'd opened his eyes, spoken with her, and she wasn't going to lose another person she finally trusted. It got her to lower the pistol allowing Fusco to place Simmons under arrest and Finch to escort Root to his car with Shaw behind him.

That very same night of talking down Shaw, Simmons was in the hospital, thanks to the wound in his shoulder that she herself gave him when he shot at her and John, he had been found dead an hour after his arrival. He died by strangulation, no one knew who it was that murdered Simmons, but she had a vague idea. It had to be Elias, it would make the most sense since he had a bone to pick with HR for trying to kill him, coupled that with John being beloved to him and the fact that it seemed like Elias truly liked her. He would view taking out Simmons as a rite of passage for all the pain he inflicted on the people that Elias, in a roundabout way, cared for. Just what to do with her suspicions, investigate further into Simmons' death or let it go?

"Carter," she blinked when she realized she was lost in memories of that long ago night that felt like several years ago when it was merely several days ago.

"Yea, Fusco, what's up?"

"You just seemed to space out, you've been off detective duty for so long and driving around in that squad car, you forget how to work or something?" he teased.

"You know, you should have become a stand-up comedian with how extremely funny you are." Her sarcastic remark made him laugh. She signed into her computer, to get back into the swing of things, and while she typed up a report for Fusco to help him out her mind drifted to a certain tall, dark, and gorgeous vigilante. Since John had awakened they had not talked about what happened at the morgue: not the kiss, not his opening up to her, not what he did to get HR away from her, or what she said to him during that time, not one damn thing. It wasn't their fault really; they just were never left alone long enough to discuss what happened. She felt protective of those moments, he had opened up and shared with her, became vulnerable, and she felt the need to be just as open with him. But she was willing to wait. All good things came to those who wait.

Joss felt at peace about Beecher's death now since getting those responsible for it. She felt like for the first time since he died at the hands of HR that she was ready to move forward. The real question became was she willing to move forward with her life with John as a lover or just as a friend? That kiss had blown her away and all it was was a simple brushing of his lips against hers. But the implications were anything but simple because that kiss wasn't just friendly, it was loving in nature. The brushing of lips was to seal the fact that he cared deeply for her and what she did for him, but it was filled with a promise of something more. She felt it in him, in his tremble, heard it in the way his breath caught as their lips touched, and saw it swimming in his eyes when he pulled back. He had been cracked wide open, exposed for her to see inside.

She couldn't deny it; she was attracted to John, which wasn't merely sexual either. Sure John was a fine male specimen; he was devastatingly good looking with those crystal clear blue eyes, those facial features that belonged on a male model, and his athletic build. But she was just as attracted to the man on the inside, to his intellect, as she was to his physical beauty. John couldn't even pretend, for his eyes were too expressive, giving him away, he was just as attracted to her as she was to him. But what would he do about it? Was he ready to move on with his life? She had asked him long ago if he was; she never did get an answer to that particular question, she was now determined to get one in the very near future.

She typed away on her computer, thinking about her possible future with a man that had quickly chipped away at the armor she wore for everyone, before flicking a look at her partner. His eyes were on her and she cocked a brow. "What?" She could work and think at the same time, she was able to multitask for the most part.

"Nothing. It's just that this is the first real day we've both been at work at the same time since this all started going down. You know, since wonder boy gathered a few more holes in him you've been with him the entire time, and before that, HR drop kicked your career into the toilet."

"Well get used to it, I'm back to busting your balls, got it?"

"Got it." He chuckled as he slid his glasses onto his face with a smirk and began to type away; she couldn't hide her own smile as she went back to it herself.

She took a sip of her black coffee, never taking her eyes of the computer screen while she wondered what John was up to, was he giving Shaw hell for being stuck in the safe house still, was he snapping at Finch about being better enough to help save the numbers? She smiled, he really did hate being injured and not able to do his purpose of saving lives. He was cute when he had to be waited on, which seemed to really irritate him. Most men would love to be taken care of by beautiful women, but not him. He would gripe at her or Shaw that if they would just let him he could do it himself. She was having a lot of fun telling him no and getting a chance to dote on him; he was a man used to controlling every aspect of his life; it was nice he had to yield to her and lean on her for a bit.

She just wished she could get him alone long enough to sneak in a dinner invitation when he was feeling better. They had a lot to discuss and a lot of figuring out where they went from the kiss; were they just friends, were they more, should they pretend it never happened, that it was just because they thought they were going to die, or was the kiss meant to be a promise of a new beginning for them? They always seemed to find themselves on paths leading towards one another. Even by accident, he was there beside her or her beside him, as if fate destined them to be together. And who was she to deny fate? A smile crept upon her face as she made her decision about her future, but she was going to take it one tiny step at a time, because they both needed it. She felt a sense of relief just as her desk phone rang. She picked it up.

"Detective Carter," she barked into the phone. God, it was good to say that again. She listened to dispatch for a moment before scribbling down the address and hanging up. "We got a body in a dumpster."

"Oh joy, bodies in dumpsters are always fun, right up there with lobotomies and colonoscopies." He slid from his chair, grabbing his mug as they walked towards the exit. They were climbing into her car when her cell rang. It was an unknown number, but it wasn't John's or Finch's. She answered quickly.

"Hey Shaw, how's he doing?"

"How he's doing? You should be asking how I'm doing instead!" Carter really never heard Shaw frazzled before and she clearly sounded annoyed. "Can I shoot him?"

"He's not that bad."

"Not that bad? Maybe for you and Finch, but I'm in desperate need of alcohol."

"Put him on the phone, I'll talk to him."

"No can do, he's asleep right now, thank god."

"What did you do to him?"

"I shot him up with some drugs, knocked him out like a light, giving me a reprieve, Reese is officially the worst patient I ever had to attend to." Joss hid a smile. Even though the woman sounded like she would love to throttle John, she sounded relieved he was feeling better, enough to piss her off. "Finch is headed over to take over for me because we got a new number. Thankfully, I need to go take out my frustrations on some kneecaps!"

Carter drove them to their crime scene while Fusco was busy looking at his own phone. She wasn't going to call out Shaw over her obvious worry about John; she didn't want to embarrass the young woman. Finch and Shaw had a minor tiff over allowing Root out of her cage when she sought revenge for John with Simmons. It sounded like they patched things up, especially since it all worked out for the best and Root had remained with them when she very well could have just ran off at any time.

"If you need my help or Fusco's, just give a holler."

"Yeah, yeah talk to you later." They hung up just as they arrived to their own crime scene.

"Way to go, Carter, offer our assistance to the loony toon, why do you hate me?" She rolled her eyes as they exited her car and made their way to her first crime scene since HR tried to take her career.

* * *

"She drugged me Finch!"

"Technically Mr. Reese, the drugs she gave you were prescribed to you." John was angry. He was tired of lying in this damn bed, being forbidden to do much of anything, but more importantly he was tired of not being allowed to see Joss privately. Every time she was here Shaw, Finch, or Fusco would be chaperoning them and he couldn't even ask to see her privately without them trying to figure out why. Though they had a lot to talk about, he wasn't ready to discuss the fact that he was in love with her, not yet at least. He changed his mind about telling her, since they had a lot of other things that needed to be addressed first, like what he said in the morgue was the truth. He meant every word, and he sure the hell meant that kiss. He couldn't bare it if she thought he had not meant the words he said to her, that it was just the heat of the moment. But he couldn't get her alone for a damned minute to explain it to her.

He was going to go outside for some fresh air and nobody was stopping him this time. All the tubes, the IVs, everything had been taken out of him three days ago. He was on a strict diet, limiting him to liquids for nourishment, and plenty of water. Shaw still had fun shooting him up with morphine, but he insisted on lower doses, which she begrudgingly agreed too. He'd rather be in some pain than be dead to the world in slumber. He flung the blanket that covered his body off of him before swinging his legs over the edge of the hospital bed. "What are you doing?"

"Finch I'm getting a bit restless here." John got a sense of déjà vu as he said it, Finch's lips twitched in a smile in return to his exasperated statement. They both thought about the cushion, he rolled his eyes, and his friend merely went on without mentioning it, becoming stern once more. "I'm going out for some fresh air."

"I advise you not to, you are still weak from the blood loss, we can't have you pop your stitches either, John. Please just stay inside for a few more days, I know you wish to be free to roam about, but your injuries were life threatening, you are not at full health yet."

"I'm fine." He assured him, getting to his feet, swaying a little; the only times he had been allowed out of the bed these last three days were to hobble to the bathroom or to take a shower. "Where are my pants?" he demanded.

"Please…"

"Finch, where are my pants and shoes?" he demanded again. He was only wearing a light cotton white t-shirt and gray boxer-briefs. He was determined to breathe in some fresh air; he'd been stuck inside this prison for nearly two weeks now. Even when he was at Rikers he'd been allowed outside for some good old fashioned fresh air at regular intervals. He wasn't the type of person to be stuck in any one place for too long.

"Mr. Reese, I need to help Ms. Shaw with our new number and I can't do that if I'm worried about you roaming the streets in your present condition."

"Damn it Finch, it's just a walk outside," he said just gruffly enough to get his friend spurred into action as he disappeared into another room. John wasn't accustomed to having to explain his plans or whereabouts, he surely didn't like it now either, as he tried to tamp down his growing desire to snarl. Finch was just worried about him and in the back of his mind he knew it was just out of the goodness of his heart. He just worried far too much about him, they all did. But even knowing they were worried about him still didn't ease the feeling of the walls closing in around him. He would be careful and he wasn't going to go far, just a little walk around the block dragging in gulps of air, then maybe stopping by the closest Starbucks and sneaking a cup of coffee without Finch's knowledge. His body craved his liquid of choice, missed the dark fuel more than he missed a nice juicy steak.

Finch reappeared with a pair of charcoal gray cargo pants John usually wore on the few days off he had, sometimes when he was heading over to the park to play chess with Mr Han. Finch also handed over a well worn pair of combat boots that he had almost forgotten about. He took them graciously from his friend with a slight nod. "Thanks," he spoke lowly, slightly embarrassed for getting short tempered with him.

"I know you aren't used to having people actually care about your well-being John, but I do, as well as both the detectives and Ms. Shaw. We won't apologize for that."

"I'm sorry Finch, truly, I just need some air." The man merely smiled accepting his apology easily.

"Take Bear with you." He motioned to the leash on the table near the door which casually meant he wanted the watch dog watching him. John inwardly sighed as he slid his legs into the pants ignoring the hitch in his breathing. He hated damned gunshot wounds; they took too long to heal. He slid the zipper up and slowly sat on the bed careful not to pop any stitches so he could put his boots on. He quickly decided that the laces would have to go untied. Before long he was ready for that walk but his strength was zapped. He was taking that damned walk, to hell with this lightheaded feeling he was still dealing with. He decided to do as Finch requested just to put the elder man at ease. He slid the fake 'Leader for the Blind in Training' vest over Bear's body while Finch was busy before attaching the leash onto his collar, and took him along for the walk.

He barely reached the sidewalk before he was winded. He chided himself for being so utterly weak, he squared his shoulders, cinched his brown leather jacket tighter against his body as a shiver wracked his body, and dragged in a gulp of fresh air. Even though he was so tired, it was good to be out and about, even if he was confined to only going around the block and had a watcher in Bear. He walked with Bear beside him down to the corner of the street in Manhattan and found the nearest Starbucks. He peeked around to make sure no Shaw, Finch, Fusco, or Joss would pop out of nowhere to remind him he was on a strict diet and coffee was off limits as of right now. He didn't see any of them, he was home free.

John entered the small but busy coffee-shop and stood in line. He was behind a woman that had long strawberry blonde hair and was speaking a mile a minute on her cell phone. Her strong perfume filled his nostrils making his wish to sneeze, and sneeze he did, hurting his already battered body. He barely turned his head before he let out another loud hard sneeze. Good god, did she dump the entire bottle of perfume on herself?! She whirled around to glare at him for sneezing on her, but the angry V of her artificially formed eyebrows lifted immediately. The frown on her face fled as it was replaced with a smile.

"Sorry," he apologized before looking away but not before noticing the look of interest in her brown eyes. Just great, this was not what he wanted or needed. Maybe she would just leave him alone? She hurried and hung up on whomever she was speaking to before turning completely around to speak to him.

"Oh no, it's okay," she said in a falsely sultry voice. He nodded, looking back into her eyes, giving her a polite smile. Okay, well there went his hope that she'd just leave him alone. "You didn't mean to sneeze on me."

"The line moved." He motioned in front of them. He heard exasperated sounds coming from the general area behind him. She turned to look forward and realized there was quite a big gap between her and the next person in front of her. She finally moved forward before quickly turning back to look at him.

"I'm Connie,"

"Leroy." He cringed, out of all the fake names he could have chosen, why that one?

"What a cute dog? You're a trainer for dogs that are to be leaders for the blind?" He sighed inwardly. Couldn't she read the dog's vest? He glanced down at Bear who didn't seem impressed either. He almost laughed when Bear sneezed too!

"Yes."

"That's wonderful work! I'm a CPA but that's not glamorous or anything and I'm on my lunch hour, but I have to have my latte." He sighed as he was subjected to endless and pointless conversation until finally it was her turn to order.

He turned around, giving the elderly lady behind him an apologetic look, and the woman smirked at him a little. "Could she be any more obvious, what I don't get is why she hadn't asked for your number yet?" she asked, shaking her head sadly. He sighed, surely hoping she wouldn't; he always had a hard time knowing what to do around aggressive women. He turned to look forward again, seeing the woman in question had moved aside, but not too far, so he could order.

"Just a large black coffee," he ordered, going to his back pocket to pull out his wallet to pay the cashier. His pocket was empty, no wallet, damn, Finch was too smart for his own good! Before he could cancel his order, the woman he just couldn't seem to get rid of threw money onto the counter.

"I'm buying his."

"No, that's quite alright." He shook his head. What next!?

"I insist." He swallowed his irritation as the cashier took the money on the counter before handing him the receipt. She was given her latte, and even though he hoped that meant she would leave it wasn't the case. She seemed to be waiting for him to get his coffee as well. The elderly woman that had been behind him ordered her cappuccino before moving next to him as they both waited for their coffees to be made. She once again smirked at him.

"What?" he asked, sliding the old lady a small smile, finding her company far more enjoyable than the woman that paid for his coffee.

"Now it makes sense."

"What does, ma'am?"

"Why she hasn't asked for your number yet. She can sniff out the nice guys like you that will feel indebted and obligated to give her it for being so generous with buying his coffee, she's good." He sighed, taking his large cup that was placed in front of him. He nodded and thanked the barista before turning around nearly plowing right into the Connie woman. She had a pen and a large grin on her face. "Can I have your phone number, Leroy, or I could just give you mine. I'm free any night."

"Uhmmmm…." He felt frozen. He could handle gunfights, fifty guys all trying to kill him, he could handle the most stressful and dangerous situations, but dealing with women that wouldn't take 'no' for an answer left him feeling awkward, out of his element, and ready for a hole in the floor to open up to swallow him whole. The predatory look on this woman's face seemed almost creepy thanks to the too much makeup she was wearing. He squirmed and silently wished he hadn't gotten Finch to let him leave the apartment, the fresh air and coffee just wasn't worth this.

"JOHN!" He blinked his eyes; he'd recognize that sexy voice anywhere. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Joss making her way over towards him. She looked pissed, but he could handle her anger as long as it got him out of this mess with this overzealous woman. "What are you doing?!"

"John, I thought his name was Leroy?"

"Joss," he greeted. "Fancy seeing you here." She pulled her blazing look off of him before sizing the woman that was standing staring at them.

"He's taken! Why are all the hot ones always taken?!" the woman that reeked of ten bottles of perfume, whirled around sending her long artificially colored strawberry blonde hair flying before she stomped off and out of the coffee-shop. He was saved. Joss coughed a few times while she waved a hand in front of her face, most likely getting a nose full of the woman's overpowering perfume.

"Thank you, Joss."

"Leroy, you told that woman your name was Leroy? How did she even buy that? Never mind that, answer this more important question for me, John, what the hell are you doing here?" She was so beautiful in this moment. Her long dark hair was straightened, her bangs swept to the left, her leather jacket unzipped showcasing her rose colored blouse that accentuated her tiny frame, and her tight black dress pants fit her like a glove. Her blazing look of intense anger didn't detract from her beauty at this very moment. "I'm waiting," those two words dripped with anger, exasperation, and something else that made him feel hot and his pants turned a bit too tight.

"I wanted some fresh air, its stifling being cooped up in the apartment for days on end." She clearly didn't believe him with the way she crossed her arms across her chest, and her look pointedly fell to his coffee he was holding. Even Bear turned on him as he sidled up next to her.

"No, you wanted to sneak down to Starbucks to get coffee that you aren't supposed to have." She snatched his coffee out of his hand. "John, there is a reason the doctor wants you on bed rest because your injuries were life threatening!" He looked around as he was being scolded in front of the entire coffee shop. He never let anyone talk to him like this, but instead of being angry about it he found himself liking it from her. Several men and women that were in line were easily overhearing every word they said, some were smiling while others were giving him a sympathetic look.

"Can I just have a sip?" she opened her mouth clearly going to tell him no, when the elderly woman that had been waiting for her cappuccino appeared beside him.

"Have a heart dear, the poor guy suffered through being hit on the entire wait in line by a woman that doused herself in the worst smelling perfume ever after putting on way too much makeup, the poor dear deserves at least a sip for all he endured." He smiled gratefully at the elderly woman as she brushed past them. He eyed Joss with a hopeful look, and she finally seemed to notice that they had all eyes on them. She glanced around, seeing people watching them with interest, and she rolled her eyes when she glanced back at him.

"Fine, just quit the sad and pathetic puppy eyed look, you can have two sips, but that's it." She handed his coffee back and he took it, deciding to savor these two sips. He had a feeling Joss was going to tell Finch on him. He was sure his privileges to leave the apartment were going to be revoked until he was fully healed, but it was so damn worth it as the diesel slid down his throat. "That's one,"she counted, clearly not trusting in him not to take more than she allotted.

"Would I cheat?"

"Yes," she answered immediately and he chuckled as they walked together out of the Starbucks with Bear beside them. When he took his second sip she snatched the cup out of his hand immediately before taking a sip of it herself. He pouted.

"So, how come you happened to swing by this Starbucks, out of all the Starbucks that are in the state?" he asked disgruntled that his coffee was taken from him. She snickered as they walked slowly to the safe house, he didn't care if she knew he was sulking, he had been so close to having that much needed coffee.

"Because I was on my way to see you during my lunch break, I was stopping by to get myself a coffee when I saw you looking like a damned pale and ready to collapse deer caught in headlights with that woman. I couldn't believe you were there, then my shock turned to anger, and that's when I walked over to you. So how did you convince Finch to allow you out?"

"I told him I needed fresh air, which, by the way, was the truth; I just so happened to decide to take the time to try to sneak in some coffee."

"Wait until I tell him, I'm sure you won't be allowed out for fresh air alone until...maybe forever," she said, frustrated but thinking the same thing as him.

"How about we not tell him? It can be our little secret?" Was he hallucinating, she thought? She actually laughed as they entered the apartment complex of the safe house.

"If you can't do the time, don't do the crime," she teased as they entered the elevator. Bear sat down beside him. He just stared at her as she sipped his coffee, and her eyes strayed up to his. He looked away and hit the stop button on the pad, and the elevator came to a screeching halt. "What are you doing?" she asked, startled.

"We haven't gotten a chance to be alone, Joss; if it's not Finch, its Shaw or Fusco that are always there with us."

"I know," she agreed with a smile. "So you think the only way we can have a moment alone is in the elevator, with only Bear as our third wheel?" she asked as she petted the dog's head sweetly. He looked down at Bear whose tail thumped wildly waiting for him to pet him as well.

"Yes." She let out a rueful chuckle. He took a steadying breath before looking into her eyes. "Listen, Joss, I need you to know that what I said to you in the morgue wasn't just the heat of the moment. You did change my mind, you did change me." He searched her lovely eyes. She took a sip of his coffee without saying much, it seemed she was turning over his words in her mind and thinking of what she wanted to say before saying it.

"What about the kiss?" she asked finally.

"If you're asking if I meant that kiss, I did."

"Was it because you were just reacting from telling me that I changed your mind from killing yourself, or that we were locked in a morgue waiting to die and I was just there, or was it more to it than that?" He stared at her. She was asking a tough question because he knew the real answer; it was because he loved her and wanted her to know he valued all that she did for him. But how could he, a man that was nothing more than a beast-a monster, tell a woman that was the most beautiful and intelligent woman on the planet that he loved her? He didn't want her to feel pressured or worried that it would change their relationship. He could handle an unrequited love, he could handle it being one sided, he just couldn't handle losing her. "John, this isn't the place or time to talk about this stuff. I'm sure Finch is worried sick that you passed out on the street or something and talking in an elevator about what's going on between us isn't ideal." He exhaled loudly, when he realized he had been holding his breath.

"No, I suppose it isn't." He just wanted to try to clear the air between them, get to talk to her privately without their friends listening in on them.

"How about dinner when you're not looking pale, exhausted, and ready to fall over?" He stared at her surprised, but he felt his lips twitch into a wide smile which she shadowed. Was she a mind reader to know he had been thinking his feelings were one sided? Or was he just an open book to her?

"Is Detective Jocelyn Carter asking me out on a date?"

"No," her smile grew brighter and he felt like the oxygen in the elevator was slowly evaporating. He felt his pulse begin to race, his heart fluttered a bit, and he couldn't remember the last time a woman made him feel quite like this.

"Yes she is."

"No, a woman is asking her attractive male friend to dinner to find out where they go from the time he kissed her, told her that she changed him, and when he was willing to die to protect her." As she spoke she moved closer to him. She had to lean her head back to gaze up into his eyes and they were standing so close to one another that just mere inches separated them. "The woman needs to know if he's willing to move on with his life with her."

"Joss," his breath stopped and the rest of his answer that yes he wanted to move on with her got clogged in his throat when she lifted her free hand to cup his stubble roughened jaw. She lifted on her tip toes, brushing her soft lips against his cheek, and lingered. He curled his hands into fists to resist grabbing her, allowing her to go as fast or as slow as she wanted. His eyes slid shut as intense feelings were aroused in him for her. Her lips parted from his cheek and she tenderly rubbed at where she kissed him, his eyes opened slowly to stare into hers. He saw into her soul, she was vulnerable to him again, like she had been when he first awakened. She wanted him to say yes he was willing to move on with his life with her. But she didn't give him a chance to answer because she took a step back from him, breaking the spell she cast him under, and hit the red button resuming the elevator movement once more. Bear seemed to sense the tension in the small space because he whined gently before seating himself between them.

Their eyes connected and neither spoke the rest of the elevator ride up. The air between them was thick, charged, and felt like it could be cut with a knife it was so palpable. He licked his lips as his gaze strayed from her eyes to her full lips. When the elevator stopped abruptly it broke his concentration on her lips, the ding signifying the doors were about to open broke through the fog he was currently under, and when the heavy doors finally slid open the heady sensation to push her into the corner of the elevator and kiss her senseless was more controllable, but not totally gone. He rushed out first, needing the space between them. She followed behind him and Bear as they walked to the place he had been staying at. Before they even reached the door, Finch popped out hands on his hips and Bear rushed ahead of them.

"There you are, Mr. Reese, I was worried sick."

"Told you so," she whispered. "I found him looking pale, exhausted, and in need of some assistance in the Starbucks down the street. He was sneaking coffee, Finch." She held out the cup as evidence.

"Mr. Reese, you are under a specific diet because of your injuries, coffee is forbidden until next week at the earliest." He was being lectured again and he glared at Joss, who seemed to be amused as they entered the apartment. Finch got Bear off the leash before taking the vest off and the dog hurried himself to his bed lying on the floor beside it.

"Traitor," John whispered for her ears only as she put the coffee cup down on the table near the door so both she and Finch could help him take his jacket off. She merely smiled up at him the entire time he was lectured from Harold as they lead him to the hospital bed. Finch walked away, going to get his pills and some water, and she merely pushed him to sit down on the edge of the bed. "I can take my shoes off," he assured her when she squatted down to help him. She looked up and he nearly groaned. Her mouth was level with someone that was clamoring for her attention since the elevator ride up as he felt his cock pressing up on his cotton boxer-briefs. Her eyes didn't reach his, instead they landed on his crotch where he couldn't hide what she did to him, even with his trousers on, and she blinked in surprise before a wicked looking gleam took over.

"Well I guess that not so little guy answers one of my questions," she murmured to him, ignoring his assurance he could take his boots off himself, doing it for him anyway. When she was finished she stood up peering down at him. "You need my help to take your pants off?" she purred.

"No," he moaned. What was she trying to do kill him for real?

"Are you sure, I'd be very happy to help since I'm such a good samaritan?" Her eyes were sparkling with mischief and her mouth was lifted in a happy smile as she slowly licked her lips. She was so damned beautiful right now.

"I'm sure you would, detective, but I'm fine." He mumbled standing up, his hands going for his fly. She merely crossed her arms across her chest and he paused as he undid the button and zipper holding the waistband so his pants couldn't fall down. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all." She gestured with her one hand for him to have at it. He exhaled roughly.

"I meant, turn around."

"Why?" What did he have to do spell it out to her? He wasn't exactly in the mood for this. He had a hard on for her and couldn't do anything about it. She merely smiled at him. "Who knew John Reese was shy." He knew the words were meant to tease, but the breathless husky way she said it sent spikes of heat down his spine. She put a hand over her eyes and he slid his dress pants down before swinging his long legs onto the bed, and positioned the blanket over him so neither Finch or Joss could tell he still had his erection.

"You can look now," he said as he glanced up and scowled when she had her fingers parted and he could clearly see her eyes through the cracks. Her wide toothy grin said she watched. "You peeked." he accused though not all that terribly angry with her, since he knew he would have done the same thing had it been her in her panties. Great, now he was wondering what kind of panties she was wearing.

"Damn right I did, you'd have to be a nun not too." She slipped her hand down to her side not at all ashamed of herself, while drawing him from his thoughts that weren't helping his erection simmer down. "But before Finch pops back in here with your medication, and you zone out on me, when you're free from your prison, call me, okay?" He looked at her. "We need to talk alone about...a few things." her eyes dipped down his body knowing she was still thinking about his hard on, before her eyes traveled back up to his. "But not in an elevator. So good news, John, you get to feed me while we talk privately." He chuckled softly at her, liking the easiness between them.

"I look forward to it."

"Me too, so get better quick." Before he could say or do anything she pressed her lips against his in the world's quickest kiss, waved goodbye to him before she walked away, leaving him to watch her until she disappeared from his view and long to see her once more.

* * *

Author's note: so this was a super long chapter, its sort of filling in the blanks between the time John awakens, what happened with Simmons, and Reese trying to assert some independence(lol). I threw in the coffee scene because I always wanted a scene where Joss took a drink from John's coffee. I wanted it so badly so I sort of found my way of writing one :) I'm so pathetic, I love minor Careese moments as much as super smutty moments! Actually this chapter gave me a few moments I always wanted to write for Careese just never having the right story to do it. Like the elevator moment, with the cheek kiss. I wanted it to capture the sexual tension that had always flowed between Careese. Meh, my feeble writing can't capture it quite like a camera would with the subtle nuances on Jim and Taraji's faces, with their expressive eyes, and the way they leaned in towards one another.

Next chapter, things start rolling for Careese, there is a minor flirty Reese scene nothing too over the top since he's a low key type guy but Carter sure enjoys it lol, plus there is a scene I was hoping to get that would actually make me sort of like Shaw that now we'll never get, so I wrote it. The heavy conversations about the morgue, the kiss, the times they spoke in and out of the precinct before John gets shot are all coming up. SQUEEE, hopefully you guys can handle the emotional roller coaster that will be, but I promise happiness will happen for our babies :) :) :)

Thank you to everyone that's reading, I adore you guys, Careese is still my babies, and more is coming for this story hopefully faster than 10 days but the holidays were so busy!


	4. A Late Night Call

Carter replayed the elevator scene in her mind over and over again as she exited her car beside the curb in front of O'Reilley's Pub. Shaw had called to ask her if she was busy on 'John duty' or if she had a case. If she was free Shaw wanted to meet up for drinks. She couldn't resist. She liked Shaw, the woman could be overbearing and even appear heartless but she knew the truth. Shaw just needed a gentle nudge in the right direction, she just needed a friend, just needed someone to be there. She slid from the dark car before moving quickly between people to the front entrance of the pub. Once she was in, it was loud and boisterous inside.

A football game was playing on the big screen and many males were gathered around screaming their heads off. She found Shaw off to the corner nearest the currently empty pool table. She maneuvered through the crowd towards the brunette whose standoffish look would make even the most egotistical man tuck his tail between his legs and run.

"Hey, Carter," Shaw called out flatly.

"Shaw," she greeted as she slid her leather jacket from her slipping it on the back of the chair before sitting down. She waved for a waitress. "Just a beer," she ordered and the waitress nodded before hustling away. "So what's up?"

"Nothing,"

"Well you don't call for drinks often, Shaw."

"You went off the grid, Carter, then Reese was shot, nearly dying, and numbers never stop coming, so how could I?"

"True," she agreed. The night John had been shot was one of her worst nights of her life. She could still remember seeing him unconscious in her arms, barely holding on for them.

"So it must feel good to be the one to dissolve HR." She nodded when her beer was placed in front of her. She took a nice swig of it. That final showdown with HR had been harrowing; she had been sure she wasn't going to survive it. She wanted everything legal, she wanted them to be locked behind bars, but she knew she would need help. She would need her friends and John readily agreed to everything. But the moments in the morgue….those were tense, and not just because of HR closing in on them. He opened up to her, she to him, and it had been tense but electrifying. It was more electrifying then all those years of marriage to Paul, more than those blissful few months of a happy relationship with Cal, and it scared her as it exhilarated her.

"_You changed my mind, Joss_." His trembling hand had been against her cheek. It was the same hand that steadily could grip a gun shoot upon people that were trying to kill him, the same steady hand that could curl into a fist and become its own weapon, and the same steady hand that should feel callous but instead felt soft. But the softness hadn't been nearly as surprising as how warm his palm had felt as he cradled her cheek. Warmth had seeped out of him from everywhere not just from the simple touch of his hand, the warmth of his words wrapped around her heart as he opened himself up to her, and there was warmth from his eyes that caressed hers. She never felt her heart pounding quite so hard as that moment John's head leaned down, his mouth itching ever closer to hers.

"Where did your mind just go?" She mentally shook the memories of the morgue free of her mind as she eyed Shaw. The woman was too intuitive for her own good, but just because she knew something was on her mind didn't mean she had to tell her what happened.

"Don't know what you mean,"

"Right, wanna shoot some pool?" She motioned to the table that was still empty, thanks to all the men watching the football game.

"Sure why not?"

"Want to make it interesting?" Shaw asked, smirking as she took another sip of her beer. The woman had a competitive streak in her, which was good because she had one as well.

"Sure, I'll wipe the floor with you."

"I like to see you try, Carter."

"Fine, if I win I get your nano." She's been dying to have one of those.

"My nano," Joss allowed her smirk to turn into a wide grin. The woman made it sound like she was asking her to give her, her first born child.

"We could play without a wager if you're afraid of losing,"

"I'm not afraid."

"So you're willing to put up the nano?"

"Yeah, what the hell."

"Okay what do you want if you win?"

"I don't know, haven't figured it out yet," Shaw considered.

"How about if you win, whatever you want, I'll give you."

"Oh Carter, that confident you'll win this pool game?"

"Pretty," she acknowledged as they walked towards the table. "I'll even allow you to break, Shaw." She offered as she racked the balls up, while Shaw chose a pool stick. Joss wasn't going to tell the woman she was a pool shark, her dad taught her everything and she hustled many in her time at college, she was going to get a nano out of this deal.

"I got a feeling I'm going to need to break first, you're too confident; like you know you'll win because you're just that damn good at the game."

"Wow, she's as smart as she looks." Carter teased, grabbing her own pool stick as Shaw proceeded to smack the cue ball into the balls sending them flying. Two balls went into the pockets both were solid colors. This was going to be fun, she hadn't had much fun lately. Shaw was surprisingly good at the game not missing a single shot until she got to the 8 ball, and she made a fateful error that was going to be her downfall. She miscalculated the shot to win the game which sent the eight ball far away from the right hand corner pocket she had chosen for it to land in.

"My turn." Joss proceeded to rapidly rid the table of striped balls and within minutes there were only two balls left, the cue ball and the eight ball. She eyed the table, eyeing every conceivable play she could before she spoke.

"Eight ball, corner pocket." She used the pool stick to point out exactly which corner pocket she meant while Shaw rolled her eyes. It was an easy shot even a beginner could make this. In her concentration she hadn't seen the smirk rise on Shaw's lips.

"You're not going to make that shot."

"Watch me," she should have known that Shaw would try to trash talk her to get inside her head. She leaned down eyeballing the shot her pelvis leaned into the pool table as she concentrated.

"Carter," the sexy masculine voice that she would know anywhere and was able to send shivers up her spine each time she heard it caught her by surprise, just when she was going for her shot. Joss nearly dug the pool stick tip into the green felt as she whiffed on the easy shot. She straightened when Shaw hurried at the chance to end the game. She turned around quickly to stare at John who had Finch and Bear beside him. In the dim lighting of the bar he looked less pale, but he still had lines of exhaustion and pain etched on his face though they weren't as prominent as they were a week ago.

"What are you doing here, out of the hospital bed?" she demanded, her surprise gave way to worried anger. He wasn't taking his recovery as serious as he should. Well she was going to worry enough for them both. "First you sneak coffee when you're not allowed only days after getting the IV and catheter out of you, and now here you are looking weaker than a baby!"

"Joss, could you please keep your voice down." His eyes were wide as he looked around the bar. She didn't bother to respond to his embarrassed plea, instead she grabbed his arm, urging him towards their table that sat empty with their jackets and beers.

"I can't leave you alone without you doing something that you aren't supposed too!"

"Maybe I just like your company," he said matter-of-factly, causing her to shot him a look of surprise. Was he flirting with her in front of Shaw and Finch? Were her ears deceiving her, his blue eyes were sparkling. His eyes were clear for the first time since he opened them.

"Oh so you misbehave because you want my attention?" she cocked a brow up. The slow smile he slid her was some potent stuff. Good grief, where was the John Reese she knew, the one that would not be flirting with her in front of everyone?

"He assured me he felt good enough to swing by the pub to meet up with you and Shaw for a few hours." She watched John like a hawk as he slid down at the chair her jacket was hanging on. "Doctor Madani is coming by later tonight to evaluate John." Finch spoke as he sat down across from him while looking at her.

"Evaluate, as in like letting him back to work. He's not ready, Finch."

"Joss," John's tone carried a tinge of warning.

"Don't 'Joss' me, John, your recovery is very important to me!"she retorted sternly while working her worry he was going to go back to work way too quickly. She was still smarting from her bruise that was left on her chest from that slug nailing her vest. He had been shot TWICE.

"Eight ball, corner pocket Carter." Shaw announced bringing her thoughts and gaze away from John, the woman had an amused look on her face as she watched her hovering by him. Great, Shaw was waiting for her to rub it that she was going to win the game! She watched as Shaw quickly nailed the cue ball into the eight ball and sank it into the very corner pocket she had been about to. She turned to pin the man who was the reason she lost with a dark gaze now. Just because she was surprised, worried, and excited all rolled into one at seeing him didn't mean she enjoyed losing because of him.

"I lost thanks to you!" She said accusingly. He went to take a sip of her beer which she snatched from his hand. She wasn't sharing her beer with the man that just lost her Shaw's nano. She took a healthy swig of it, pinning him with an irritated look.

"My fault? It's not my fault, you whiffed on your shot."

"I wouldn't have 'whiffed' if you hadn't said my name." When he smiled up at her she noticed the small shiver he gave as Finch helped him take his jacket off. She was worried he was cold because he was doing too much too quick, then again, he'd been cooped up in that safe house for weeks now. She relaxed a little bit, knowing she, Finch, and Shaw were there for him to lean on if he started feeling too weak. He motioned for the waitress who smiled at him as she headed towards them.

"What can I get for ya?"

"He'll have a sparkling water," Carter ordered for him while he said 'a beer.' The waitress looked at them both for a moment. Finally Carter sighed. "Fine, one beer." The waitress nodded, she felt a little happier that the girl was on her side. "And for Harold, he can order his own." She leaned to whisper in John's ear while Finch ordered a ginger ale. "Are you misbehaving again just to get my attention?" Her hand brushed his. She couldn't seem to resist touching him.

"No, I want a beer, I just want anything besides water."

"I figured out what I want, Carter," Shaw spoke up, immediately getting her to straighten her posture, whirl around, and feel a little heat flare up on her cheeks.

"What she wants?" Finch questioned as Shaw reached over grabbing her beer to gulp it empty. "You two were betting?"

"Yeah, Carter's more fun than you and Reese."

"What was the wager?" John seemed intrigued by the fact that she was betting. Shaw merely shrugged.

"She wanted my nano."

"And what does she get since she won?" His eyes were on her, but it was Shaw who answered.

"Anything I wanted." Well she only agreed to that because she figured she was going to win. She hadn't realized that Finch was going to take John out on a field trip, to distract her with his sexy voice.

"Joss, I think you got the short end of the stick on the bet." She blatantly ignored his teasing remark, his sexy smile, and looked at Shaw.

"What do you want?" She asked as she sank down beside John in the empty chair, while Shaw sat beside her and Finch.

"I didn't say I wanted it yet, I just figured out what I wanted. You'll pay up soon, I promise, Carter." She nodded and she was true to her word; whatever Shaw had in mind she'd get her. The waitress appeared with a beer for John, Finch's ginger ale, and both she and Shaw ordered another beer for themselves. She slid her gaze to John, who was merely watching her with interest, and she realized something. He was out of his prison, he was out with permission from Finch which meant...

"So, John whose idea was this little field trip anyways?" She asked, turning her entire body towards him, squashing the growing excitement. She had said when he was free from his prison, he was technically not free yet, he couldn't go home to his place yet. But maybe things have changed since this morning.

"Mine."

"But Finch gave you permission to get out of your _prison_?" The slow smile filled his beautiful face and in his blue eyes, as he lifted the beer to his smiling lips. He took a swig of it and sighed.

"I have a feeling, Finch, we are missing something," Shaw spoke up, but she didn't bother looking at her friends. Her eyes stayed on his.

"I don't need permission to leave the safe house,"

"Yeah, you do." All three of them corrected.

"Okay, fine, yes Finch gave me permission to leave the safe house. And once Dr. Madani has finished his evaluation I might be allowed to go home, to sleep in my own bed."

"I'll drink to that." Carter lifted her beer bottle that was finally placed in front of her while he lifted his as well. They clinked their beer bottles together, while Finch and Shaw merely looked on, perplexed by them. 

* * *

She laid in bed trying to force her eyes to close, to sleep, but yet she couldn't rest. Her eyes remained open and sleep eluded her even though she was exhausted. She tried lying on her left side before turning onto her right side, giving her pillow a swift punch on the way over before flopping on to her back, just to start the agonizing tossing and turning all over again. It was his fault. John's! Yep, that blasted man was taking up residence in her mind every minute of every day. She lifted her head, looking at her alarm clock that read 2:30 a.m., and sighed. She rolled out of bed before slowly walking towards her adjoining bathroom like a zombie. She entered it and glared at her reflection.

Her dark hair was sticking out, her face was makeup free, and she had bags under her eyes. Her pink soft cotton bed time t-shirt was nearly see through, her nipples were hard and straining against the fabric, her panties felt wet. See, this was one reason why she couldn't sleep. Because at night her thoughts about John took an erotic turn that left her frustrated, in need, and lonelier than ever. She could control her thoughts and feelings for the man during the daylight, but at night fantasies plagued her. But even utter sexual frustration wasn't her only reason she couldn't sleep tonight. The other reason was he hadn't called. He hadn't called to tell her what Dr. Madani had to say. She figured when he and Finch left well before her, Shaw, and Fusco tonight that meant they were leaving for this evaluation.

She splashed some cold water on her face before exiting her bathroom and bedroom, opting for some TV to relax her. She couldn't lay in bed anyway, thoughts of John filling it would monopolize her mind, and she'd have to take matters into her own hands which she was trying to avoid. She was sure John was in the same damned agony as she was, that erection the other day had been solely for her. Every day she went over there to visit him he had this soft look on his face at her, the air between them was charged, and she damned well wished they would stop being chaperoned. She wanted to sneak a kiss or two in, yes they needed to talk about what happened at the morgue, and judging by John's unbridled hot looks she had a feeling she knew how that conversation would go. Joss turned the television on, before making her way to her refrigerator to pull out the container of milk to pour herself some.

She just sat down on the couch feeling somewhat relaxed when her phone buzzed with a text. She was shocked. Who would be texting her at this time of night? One man came to mind, her relaxed state went straight to hell. She leaned forward and grabbed the forgotten phone from her coffee-table. She was right, it was him, and read his text feeling giddy. He wrote that he got official word from the doctor that he was allowed out of his prison. She didn't bother texting him back, but rather dialed his number instead. It took a few rings but he answered.

His gruff and sexy "hello," sent spikes of heat up and down her spine.

"Hi John," she answered quietly, not wishing to awaken her son who was sleeping like a baby in his bedroom. "I got your text."

"I didn't want to wake you."

"You didn't," she assured. "So, if you are allowed out of your prison does this mean you can help with the numbers again?"

"Yeah, but Finch and Shaw aren't ready to give me full reign, I'm relegated to the lame work," he acknowledged, his voice sounded so despondent, making her smile.

"No kneecapping for you, for at least a little while longer,"she agreed, taking Finch and Shaw's side on this.

"But I did get to go back to my place and not be watched like a hawk."

"We just wanted you safe."

"I know."

"So, uh, are you back at home then?" she asked as she licked her lips. It was hard to wait for him to ask her out because she just wanted to blurt it out first. Patience, Joss, you waited two years for him to open up to you, you can wait five more minutes for a dinner invitation.

"Yeah it's nice to be here." He paused and she held her breath. "Listen, Joss," he stopped once more, and she shook her head a little as she leaned back into the armrest, tucking her phone in the crook of her shoulder, while stretching her legs out on the couch with a smile.

"Yes John?" She played it cool but her toes were even wiggling in excitement. Oh god, she had it bad for this man!

"W-will you uh-like to um, well would you like to go out to dinner tonight?" She couldn't help but chuckle at his stuttering. He sounded so unsure of himself, like he hadn't known she wanted to go to that dinner with him when she had been the one that suggested it in the first place a week ago. "What's so funny?"

"You," She continued to chuckle softly.

"Me?" He sounded miffed, making her wonder how this man could be so utterly adorable and masculine at the same time. She was sure her asking him wouldn't be greeted with happiness since he was Mr. Badass, not Mr. Adorable.

"Yes you, stuttering like you didn't already know I wanted to have dinner with you."

"Oh, I was worried you changed your mind."

"Never," she assured him. "We have stuff to talk about."

"Yes we do."

"So, do I get to pick the restaurant or do you?"

"Wherever you want, Joss, is fine by me." She loved it that he called her by her first name. He used to always call her by Carter unless it was a dire circumstance. Now it seemed he was incapable of calling her anything but Joss, which made her melt inside.

"You do realize this is the first time a man ever asked me out at 2:30 in the morning." She decided to tease him a little.

"Well you weren't supposed to be up to read the text and then call me. But I'm glad that you were."

"Me too, do you know why I was up?" what was she doing? Why was she stirring up trouble? Surely he had to know why she was up why did she have to push it? Because she wanted him to know how hot she was for him. Because she wanted to know if he was feeling as much in need of her as she was of him.

"I have a pretty good guess," his voice grew lower. She pictured him lying in bed in nothing but his boxer-briefs which made her squirm slightly. She wondered if he had an erection.

"I was thinking about you," oh good lord was that her voice? What was happening to her? It was this man that was doing this to her, making her do things she never done before.

"I was thinking about you too, Joss."

_Don't say it__,__ don't say it_, her mind screamed! "In bed?" It seemed her mind and mouth weren't on the same page. She smacked her hand across her face in agony. Why was she torturing them both?

"Yes," his breathless whisper shot an arrow of heat straight to her sex. "I can't seem to stop thinking about you." His honest words made her feel like she was floating on cloud nine. Could it be John Reese was truly ready to move on with his life with her?

"John, can I ask something?"

"Anything," he didn't hesitate.

"It's well-it's actually a question I asked you a while back, but never really got an answer to it before we were interrupted."

"Um, can you be more specific," she smiled a little as she twisted her hair around her fingers.

"Okay, do you remember that conversation we had in the car about me moving on and dating, while we were watching that married couple who hated each other?"

"Yeah,"

"And I asked you if you were ready to move on, but we were interrupted. You never gave me an answer, we sort of left that hanging between us. I want an answer now: are you ready to move on with your life, John?"

"Yes," his soft whisper made her sag against the couch.

"Yes, you're ready to move on?"

"Yes Joss..."

"Are you willing to move on with your life with me?" she sat forward on the couch, she ignored the ache between her legs for him, she ignored the way her heart pounded, and the way she was holding her breath. She needed to know this answer before their dinner tonight, she didn't know why, she just needed to.

"There is no one in this world I want to be with except you," he answered succinctly. She looked up at the ceiling and whispered 'thank you' to up above, a smile filled her face, and she felt tears well up in her eyes. He was truly opening himself up to her. She needed to go slowly with him she knew, but she was okay with that.

"Thank you for answering a couple of my questions."

"We better hang up, you need to get some sleep," he explained. She knew he was right, it was nearly three in the morning and she would be needing to get up soon for work. But it didn't make her want to hang up. "How about I call you later this morning and we can decide where we want to eat for dinner, so I can call for reservations?"

"Sounds like a plan."

"Okay, get some sleep." She wanted to ask 'how' when she was still wound up from the erotic fantasy she had about him, the fact that she was going out with him later tonight, and he admitted to wishing to move on with his life with her. She was afraid he just made her into an insomniac, the smile on her face felt stuck, like her facial muscles had frozen in that position.

"You too, John," she purred, knowing he wasn't going to get anymore sleep than she did.

"Hang up."

"You hang up," she countered.

"I will." She waited for him to, but when no dial tone greeted her she snickered. "I'm going to, I just wanted to say goodnight."

"Goodnight, John." She sighed when she finally heard the dial tone, missing him already. She flung her phone back onto the coffee-table, eyeing her untouched glass of milk. She picked up the remote, turned off the TV she hadn't even looked at, then stood up and stretched. Her body ached for his, but she needed to get some shut eye before work and suddenly she felt tired enough that she could sleep. Talking with John, she felt wide awake, but not having him to talk with, she felt tired enough to actually sleep. She collapsed into her bed, and her last thought before she fell asleep was of John Reese. 

* * *

He yawned for what felt like the millionth time this wonderful morning. He was tired from the lack of sleep which he blamed Joss for, but even though he was truly exhausted he was also excited for tonight. He didn't remember the last time he was this excited about something. He wasn't accustomed to the feeling. Shaw and Finch noticed the change in him this morning, even going so far as remarking on it, and he blatantly ignored their questions. He concentrated on doing the boring side of working the numbers, while Shaw got the fun stuff of breaking and entering, shooting bad guys in the kneecaps, and breaking the one guy's nose. Some people had all the fun and right now he was having anything but fun, because they were stuck in his car together on a stakeout.

"Did you hear his nose crack from in here, Reese, because it sounded loud as it popped against my fist?"

"Yes," he answered demurely.

"Oh you're just pissed because you didn't get to kneecap anyone or crack that idiot's nose. I wanted to break his arm too, but Finch thought it was overkill." He didn't bother answering her, he just kept the binoculars up. "So what gives?"

"What do you mean?"

"We have a juicy case where there is a lot of gun fights, action, nose cracking good time, and your usual sourpuss attitude about your injury that sidelined you isn't here? Instead, you're smiling, so what gives?" He lowered his binoculars to look at her.

"What I can't smile?"

"No." He rolled his eyes. "It's not just the smiling, Reese, you seem-I don't know, like you got laid or something last night. Did you and Zoe meet up, like the minute you got the all clear from Dr. Madani last night?" he tensed at the mention of Zoe. He needed to break their just sex pact off with her. He was a one woman man. But he refused to answer her question, instead he ignored her. He lifted the binoculars once more to see their query. "Trouble in paradise?"

"Excuse me?"

"I saw you flinch the moment I mentioned Zoe. So if she's not the one that's making you happy this fine morning, is it because you aren't stuck in your 'prison' any longer?"

"Yes," he agreed quickly, hoping that meant she would drop it.

"I don't believe you, it's got to be something else because you weren't this happy at the bar. So if it's not the fact that you are allowed to roam free, and it's not Zoe, what is it or shall I say who is it?"

"Can we just concentrate on the number?"

"Ah, so it is 'a someone' that's making you happy, since you are trying this hard to change the subject. Well, you're not like me where I have multiple lovers and not give a damn about their 'feelings' on the matter. So if Zoe isn't the one making you happy then it has to be Carter."

"And how does one come to that conclusion?"

"Well as I said I clocked you and Zoe the first moment I laid eyes on you two in the same room, it was so easy. She looks at you like a walking penis." He snorted with his usual smirk. That was the thing about Shaw he liked, she just blurted it out even if you wanted to hear or not, and for that he respected her. "I'm not joking, Reese, and you view Zoe as something easy for you to handle, you respect her but you don't have deep feelings for her." He shifted his eyes to her, seeing she had a small grin on her face. "Then there's Carter."

"What about her?" He almost growled.

"Reese, seriously come on, you ran off half-cocked to go save her from HR, leaving Finch and I to handle 40 numbers ourselves!" He just merely arched a brow in challenge. She had a competitive streak in her just like him. "You have feelings for Carter, not that I blame you; she's hot, a good shot, and smart. Although she's not as easy to read her feelings for you, as yours are for her."

"Oh so I'm an open book."

"On your feelings for Carter, you bet your sweet ass you are. Reese, I asked you over a month ago if there was something between you two, and you got all defensive and said you two were just friends. But you two are anything but just friends, not with the way you two are looking at each other. I feel like I need cold shower when I interrupt you two. It's not even the sexual tension in the room that gives you two away, it's in the way you look at her. You don't look at Carter the same way you look at Zoe, or me, or any other woman for that matter."

"Oh I don't?"

"No, you look at Carter like she makes your world turn." He stiffened a little and Shaw, like a shark, smelled blood in the water. "Reese, you want her so badly you can taste it."

"Drop it, Shaw."

"Do something about it Reese."

"I said drop it!" he turned an icy glare onto her. Shaw actually listened for once; her mouth opened but slid shut, no knowing smirk, no witty and annoying retort. She just stared at him for a moment before shifting in her seat. Blissfully, she listened to him for the rest of the stakeout and left him to think about his impending date with Joss tonight. 

* * *

Author's note: ok so I got to add a flirty Reese, a fun Shaw/Carter moment since I liked their growing friendship on the show it was my way of liking Shaw. Once I saw Lady Killer I figured that Carter would have been the one that would get Shaw to show a more human side, be somewhat Shaw's conscience, and ground Shaw to reality that there is more to life than guns/action(be a character I could really like that had depth to her), but I guess my assumption was wrong for the show but not for my story!

By the way my wonderful readers, and fellow Careesers I got inspiration for a new Careese AU video, I wish this website would allow me to give the direct link, but it won't. Whenever its get finished I'll let you know somehow lol :) I'm about halfway through it I adore the song. A friend of mine is challenging me to make an AU video where John believes Joss dies in his arms, but she's truly alive, and she sort of stalks in the shadows watching him before appearing to him. That's the storyline she wants I got an idea for that as well, but I have to finish this video first.

I'll shut up now, thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed, chapter 5 will be coming soon-ish maybe Monday or Tuesday since Tuesday in MI its going to be 0 degrees outside and with a windchill of -20 so I'm staying indoors that day. I even went out and purchased my doggie some booties for his little paws so he doesn't get frostbite, poor little guy was making me laugh my ass off with watching him try to walk with them on. I just adore my dog :D


	5. The First Date

She sat in her cruiser waiting for Shaw to arrive, as she checked her watch for maybe the millionth time, wondering why this day was dragging so slowly. Right, she had a date tonight, a date with John. She irritably lowered her arm down, tapping her index fingers against the steering wheel in impatience. It was her lunch break when she got a text from Shaw requesting her to pay up on their bet. Of course, she had to choose today of all days to get her to pony up.

The door to her passenger side opened, making her jump and glare as Shaw slid into the seat before slamming it shut.

"I hate when you and John do that," she grumbled. They were the only two that could ever get the jump on her. Shaw handed her a bag with a chicken sandwich inside it, while she went to open her own bag. Carter had only agreed to swing by to talk about the payment if she got her lunch, which Shaw had happily agreed. She went to hand the woman a ten, but she shook her head. Fine, by her, she opened the paper that was wrapped around the hot chicken sandwich to take a bite. "So what do you want, Shaw?" She asked after a moment.

"Simple, I want booze." She just kept her gaze steady on Shaw as she took a large bite of her huge hamburger.

"In general, or is that what I'm paying up for the bet last night?"

"Both." Shaw's lips twitched into a small smile before her expression became blank. "You can buy me two rounds tonight, at Logan's, its pricier and has better alcohol."

"Tonight,"

"Yeah, is that a problem?" Shaw demanded with a mouthful of food.

"W-well, actually yes, that is a problem." She looked away wiping her mouth delicately with a thin paper napkin. She wasn't willing to tell this woman that she had a date tonight with John. They had a lot to talk about and with her luck Shaw would just show up at the restaurant to annoy them. "I got a thing."

"You have a date, don't you?"

"Well…"

"It's okay your secret is safe with me, I won't tell Reese."

"Oh uh, thank you, but why would that bother him?" She asked veiling her rampant interest with a bite of her chicken sandwich.

"Oh come on, he's got a thing for you." Shaw said before popping the last bit of the hamburger she gobbled down into her mouth. After she swished it down with a drink from a bottled water she spoke further. "You didn't know? What, are you blind? He looks at you like the world revolves around you." Joss felt warmth spread through her. Even Shaw who didn't do feelings, emotions, or any of that could see that he had feelings for her. She felt giddy in anticipation for tonight. "He wanted to go see Zoe this afternoon, refusing to buy me lunch, so I bailed on him to eat lunch with you, leaving him to sit on the stakeout alone waiting for me." Carter felt herself stiffen at the mention of the woman that obviously was something to John.

"Oh, so he wanted to see her."

"Yeah, but I don't think it's for sex, he seemed pensive about visiting with her, not excited. He's probably bored of her or something. Although, he had her on speaker phone, she sounded more than ready to bang him; she must have missed his…"

"Enough, Shaw, please," she said loudly as she threw her half eaten sandwich into the bag, suddenly her appetite was gone.

"I didn't realize you disliked talking about sex, Carter."

"No, I don't mind talking about sex, just not John's sex life."

"Fine, let's talk about yours."

"Me and my sex life? Not going to happen, Shaw."

"So who's this date, is he hot?"

"Yes." She sighed as she relaxed a bit. She was going to have to bring up Zoe Morgan tonight with John as well. She didn't like speaking about previous women, but she needed to know it was over between them, she needed to know she wasn't getting in the way of something special between them.

"Are you going to put out for him on the first date?"

"Shaw!"

"What? Dates intrigue me, just not enough to actually go out on one." Carter rolled her eyes. Why did she always befriend the weird people? "So, do you have a date limit before you screw him or do you play by ear?"

"If I answer this one question will you drop the subject completely?"

"Sure."

"Tonight, this guy I'm definitely playing by ear; but if it was any other guy it would be the fourth date unless it goes bad."

"This guy must be worth it." Carter nodded in agreement, Shaw had no idea how worth it he was.

"Okay, get out of my car, I got to get back to the precinct, " she said while she looked at her watch. Good gosh, this day was going to be the longest ever. She still had to go shopping for a new dress, something sexy but sophisticated!

"Give Reese hell tonight," Shaw grinned wickedly as she opened the door. Carter sagged against the seat realizing that during this entire car conversation Shaw had known she was going out tonight with John. She watched the irritating smaller woman wave at her, before swinging the door shut, and happily walked away with her hands shoved into her dark wool jacket. 

* * *

"Finch," he could hear John's long drawn out exasperated sigh of his name. He knew John wasn't going to be happy, but if he wanted to look good for his first date with Jocelyn Carter, he needed to allow him to do the final touches.

"You want to look perfect for Jocelyn don't you?" he asked his dear friend. He knew John hadn't gone out a real date in a very long time. Sure, he went out with Maxine, but she had been just a number. This one John was going out on was for real, something he wanted, and had taken some prodding to get the man to admit to. He nodded his head in earnest. "Then hush," the glower he received was well documented and ignored.

His friend had tried to wear his perpetual 'man in the suit' attire, his classic black dress pants, suit blazer, topped off with the white dress shirt sans tie. All in all it was a great work attire, but not great first date attire. Instead Finch had placed him in the navy blue, tailored-fit, suit that fit Mr. Reese's athletic build perfectly. He chose a light blue dress shirt, coupled with a dark blue tie with silver stripes. "Perfect," he murmured getting to his knees to fix the scuffing issue.

"Finch, it's fine the way it is." He stepped back.

"I just want your first date with the detective to go well. Mr. Reese, she's going to be dressed up and she's going to wish to see you have taken the time to choose a different outfit."

"Look at Reese, all dolled up for Carter." Finch turned to look at Ms. Shaw as she entered the library, immediately making a beeline for Bear. She had figured out John was going out with Jocelyn at some point during lunch, coming back to the stakeout, interrupting his conversation with Mr. Reese about the detective just to annoy him about his impending date. Thankfully the case had been closed this afternoon as Mr. Reese had gotten to shoot a kneecap from his confined space of the car which had worried him listening over the three-way. Ms. Shaw had been angrily telling John about wanting to do it herself, but he was sure that it was good for his friend to get to do something besides lug her around everywhere. John moved much slower in reaction to her, his eyes were on his cell phone with a smile. "Oh look at that, Finch, they're sexting one another."

"Shaw, shut up." Finch eyed his two employees, noticing for the first time since Ms. Shaw had come to work with them the real easiness between the two. Maybe it was because they both had similar jobs or maybe it was something about working dangerous situations together, but they seemed to have an understanding. He didn't share the same easiness with Ms. Shaw as John seemed to. But without having to fear she was going to shoot people in the chest, it was getting easier to try to get more comfortable around her.

"She doesn't put out on the first date, so you'll have to really wow her to get her in the sack." He made a face, while John didn't even bother to respond to her, pocketing his keys, fixing his watch, and settling his gun in the back of his pants. "Are you even allowed to have sex? It's been a few weeks since you've been shot, the stitches are out, but I mean gunshot wounds can be a definite cock-block sometimes." She made a face as if remembering a time in her past that a gunshot wound had interfered with her plans. Finch decided she was sharing way too much information, most likely in hopes of annoying their mutual friend. She moved beside him and he shot her a look to quiet her from furthering annoying John, then they watched as he walked towards the exit. "You want to make a bet, Finch?" Shaw asked quietly.

"Ms. Shaw…"

"I bet you a hundred bucks they'll be in bed together tonight."

"I'm not making a bet with you on our friends' happiness." At first he had been worried about his two friends being in love with one another, for the simple fact of their current professions, nothing was guaranteed and John couldn't handle another loss. That included a breakup, he couldn't handle losing Jocelyn from his life at all, he wouldn't recover from it, and he was sure the detective felt the same way. But if anyone could make a relationship work with their dangerous career choices it would be John and Jocelyn. When he overheard Mr. Reese in the morgue, he had been so shocked he was listening to his friend opening himself up to her in that way that he almost forgot to give them privacy. He muted them until he had overheard what was happening on the police scanner and relayed it to them. Now that he had come to terms with their impending relationship change, Finch couldn't contain his smile. He already knew of a perfect church where his friends could get married, maybe he should book a hall just in case.

Finch's thoughts were interrupted by Shaw. "Fine I'll call Lionel, he'll be disgusted enough to bet against it happening, and I'll make an easy hundred bucks." Shaw yanked her cell phone out as she sat down beside Bear to pet him while putting the phone to her ear. He sat down at the computer and began searching for the perfect honeymoon spot for John and Jocelyn. 

* * *

He was nervous. When he had been at the library he had been taking out his nerves on Finch. At first he had thought his elderly friend was more nervous for him than he was. Finch had redone his tie claiming it was crooked, so he had to endure it being taken apart and redone for him. But he realized Finch just wanted him happy. And he was, just getting to spend time with Joss was a thrill and something he never thought would happen. He fidgeted in his car. Tonight, he needed to get some things out. He needed her to know that it was alright if she didn't really want their relationship to change. Sure, she knew he was sexually attracted to her, with his damned erection giving him away, but there was no pressure on her to be more than what she wanted. He'd take any relationship she was willing to give. He just wanted her in his life.

This afternoon, Finch had figured out what was going on between them when John realized he had forgotten to disconnect with him, while telling Joss to choose the restaurant for their date. She had been excited, they agreed to meet up at her place and then hung up. He climbed out of his car, feeling nervous jitters, silently berating himself for not stopping to buy her roses, as he walked up the stoop to her entrance. His hand hovered above the knob, realizing this was the first time he wasn't going to break into her place. He knocked softly. He heard a couple footsteps before the door opened and his mouth hung open.

She was stunning. No, stunning didn't exactly describe how extremely beautiful she was, no words could adequately explain how exquisite she looked. Her lovely dark hair was curled softly at the bottom, laying perfectly so it framed her face. She had chosen light makeup, with a soft rose colored lipstick that drew his gaze to her full looking lips. His eyes slowly dipped down to her dress that fit her like a second skin. That damned uniform did nothing for her figure. She was wearing a crimson, short dress that showed off her beautiful, dark and sleek, body. The dress was clinging to her, skintight, and the straps on her shoulders were about two fingers in width resting on her shoulders, but got bigger as it went down covering her ample breasts. There was a thin strip of red near her neck that was connected to each side of her dress, which drew your gaze to the plunging neckline just beneath it. He could easily see the sides, and the valley between her breasts before the fabric finally came together in a deep V, clinging to her flat stomach, and finally ending at mid-thigh. He swallowed hard as his eyes slid down her mile long bare legs to the red spiky heels.

"Hi, John." Her words were meant to drag his gaze from her lovely body but he was having trouble remembering what he was doing here in the first place. "You're staring," she teased and that did get him to lift his gaze. Her dark eyes twinkled in amusement.

"You're beautiful," his voice was low, and raspy. He looked away, feeling not at all good enough for her. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, she could have a pick of any guy, instead she was going out tonight with him because he had kissed her and she wanted to know what it meant. She moved back, motioning for him to come in, and he quietly did so.

"Thank you, John." She went to grab her long black leather coat that would cover most of her body. He took it from her, holding it out to help her into it, which she smiled at. They exited her place, he went to go turn the car on while she locked up. When she made her way down the front stoop towards his car, he opened the passenger side door for her. "Such a gentleman, I like it." She grinned and he inhaled her intoxicating perfume. Now she knew how to wear perfume. He cleared his throat, after he was sure she was inside safely, he slid the door shut and walked around to drive them to whatever restaurant she had chosen.

"So where to?"

"Papillon Bistro and Bar," she answered. "Reservations are under my name. I always wanted to go there, my friends told me it's a great first date location."

"It's a nice restaurant," he agreed.

"You've been there?"

"No, well not really, I was staked out in front of it."

"Never mind, don't tell me, I don't want to know." He grinned as he drove them to the restaurant she had chosen. It was a quiet ride, he was so nervous he didn't know what to say to her, so instead he remained silent. She did most of the speaking, telling him about her first case as a detective again. He could hear the pure elation in her voice as she spoke. She missed it so much, it had affected her more than she had been willing to admit by what HR did, and not just because of Beecher but taking career she loved from her. He was glad it ended with them behind bars, Simmons dead, and Joss safe and happy once more.

They arrived to the restaurant, with a valet waiting by the front, who opened the door for Joss, and he climbed out of his side. He handed the key to the valet who hurried his way to drive the nice car. He was young maybe eighteen which worried him about the safety of his car, but more importantly the guns in his trunk. He felt a touch to his hand, and he pulled his gaze away from his car, to look down into her eyes. Even a simple touch like her hand on his was enough to send sparks of heat through him. Neither one spoke, as they turned and walked into the bistro hand in hand, and he silently wondered if he was ready to bare it all to her tonight. But there was only one way to find out, which was to try. 

* * *

Author's note: Okay so don't hate me for leaving it just as the date is about to begin, but the date is very long filled with a bunch of stuff, so I had to end this chapter here. I wanted to add some light moments with Shaw and Finch too. I think Finch would be a silent cheerleader of their union if it was ever to happen on the show. I think at first he'd have his reservations but be happy for them in like two minutes later :D

I'll try posting the date chapter sometime this week, I'm aiming for Thursday or quite possibly Friday, but tomorrow is out for sure. Thanks for reading, and all the wonderful feedback and thank you to every guest reviewer who I cannot personally thank in messages I appreciate the time you take to leave me a comment. As a thank you here's a teaser for chapter 6:

**"I only want you," he leaned his head down to brush his lips against hers in a gentle goodnight kiss. He sucked in oxygen through his nostrils when the overwhelming urge to deepen the kiss almost overrode his brain.**

One last thing, and I'll leave you be. I posted the Careese AU video onto my youtube account. Since I cannot post the link in my story or in PMs or anything, I tried it on my profile and it works. So the link is on my profile page underneath my newly written bio lol. I finally updated it with real information about myself lol. But it's at the very bottom right before the stories I've written I even posted a link to my actual channel, if you wish to go on there too. I should post my tumblr, I guess that'll be another day lol. Thanks again, hope you enjoyed!


	6. Dinner Conversation

**Author's note: You guys are good you know that, guilt me into posting this, I was feeling bad for stringing you guys along without finishing up their date. So with the added bonus that my schedule cleared up today, while tomorrow and Friday have turned into a nightmare of errands I decided to post today instead of trying to post tomorrow night at like 11:59pm. **

**Be prepared, I went full out on the conversation it is something I would see happening on the show in the future had they decided to not kill off Carter. I could see them trying to work through some of this, I could see this exact conversation in my head, so I wrote it out. I hope you too can imagine them speaking these words, if not I failed in our Careese and for you guys since fanfiction is all we have left of them, which will leave me sad.**

**Anyways, I hope you can enjoy!**

* * *

He was nervous. She was glad for it, because she was just as nervous, if not more. They entered the bistro, had their coats taken from the hostess, and she nearly swallowed her tongue when she saw John. The hostess seemed to have the same problem, because John looked like a model in his damned smart suit. It seemed custom made, like it was built for him. The navy blue was a far cry from his usual black, the powder blue dress shirt was highlighting his blue eyes than his white one ever could. He smelled so good like always, his hair was styled like he normally wore it, but he had added a tie which he didn't wear normally. All in all, John looked like a Greek god.

They were led to their table set for two, he held out the chair for her which she graciously accepted. She noticed his eyes dip down to her breasts, which made her so very happy she had splurged on this dress. She nearly hyperventilated when she had seen the price tag, coupled with buying new red heels. She was going to be paying off her credit card for a while, but John's reaction was well worth being in debt for. He sat down across from her, when their waiter appeared dressed in a white dress shirt, a standard black tie, and had a vest over the white shirt.

"I'm Armando, your waiter for the evening. Can I start you off with something to drink?"

"Your finest bottle of red wine will be perfect." She spoke up when John merely arched a brow to her. Obviously he wanted her to order whatever she wanted. The man nodded before walking away with the promise of being right back with their wine. She opened the menu, but her gaze was on John instead. He was looking it over himself, which left her the perfect chance to stare at him till her heart was contented. Which wouldn't be ever, he truly was a beautiful sight to take in when he didn't know it, his expressions weren't masked because he didn't know he was being watched. His long eyelashes were casting shadows on his high cheekbones. She wetted her lips a little as she lowered her gaze down to his mouth. He had the softest lips imaginable; when he placed them on hers in the morgue she had been stunned at how soft they felt. She wondered when he kissed her again, but this time not quickly or tenderly, would they remain soft while he demanded more. Or would they grow firm in seeking more from her. She jumped when the waiter placed a glass half filled with wine in front of her, before pouring a glass for John as well. She had been so busy studying the man sitting across from her that she hadn't realized the waiter had come back. John for his part lifted his head never once realizing she had been staring.

"Are you ready to order?" she wanted to ask the waiter how would she be ready to order with having John as a distraction? But she didn't say a word just nodding her head deciding to order the rack of lamb with mint jelly she had somehow noticed on the menu though her mind had been on the man seated across from her. Meanwhile John ordered lobster and once the waiter left, Joss leaned back in her chair sipping her wine, watching him.

"What?"

"Nothing, I didn't realize you liked seafood."

"I do, don't you?"

"I love seafood actually." He smiled softly. "So, what else do you like?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well what do you do when you're not fighting crime?"

"I play Chinese chess with Mr. Han."

"Who is he?"

"A blind man I met a long time ago." He intrigued her so much. There was so much she didn't know about John, so much she wanted to learn.

"Would you teach me how to play someday?" Their eyes met.

"If you want me to, I would."

"Yeah, I always enjoy learning new things." They continued talking about mundane things, keeping the evening light as the waiter placed their food in front of them. She watched him, watched as he opened his mouth and placed his fork that held some food on it between his lips. Oh for the love of god, watching this man eat was a new form of torture. She shifted and crossed her ankles, trying to desperately ignore the dull ache between her legs. She noticed he was watching her just the same, neither one spoke for the first five minutes of receiving their food, just watching one another eat. She realized she was making it a production of placing her food into her mouth, taking her sweet time sliding the fork free from her mouth, and their eyes connected.

"Would you like to try some of the lobster?" his voice was a sexy rumble. His eyes were on her mouth, and she licked her lips. Was that a soft moan she heard?

"I would love too." He nodded before gathering some of the lobster up for her onto his fork, and with the table so small he only had to lean in a little to hold out the fork. She shared food with Paul and Cal before, but neither man had made it quite this intimate or quite this sexy. His eyes were on hers while she took a hold of his hand as she leaned forward, his eyes dropped down to her breasts, and hers slid towards his mouth. She parted her lips, as he slid the fork into her mouth, his gaze lifted and she pulled the food off the fork before sliding it free of her mouth once more. The lobster was delicious, but she nearly had to gag it down when she realized the butterflies in her stomach were fluttering so hard she was ready to puke. "It's delicious." She forced herself to speak and he nodded. After that, their light mood had gone straight out the window.

It felt like everything they did was sexual as they continued to eat, the conversation fled, and the silence burned between them, not uncomfortable, but made the unbearable need to grab him nearly insurmountable.

Since their light mood was shot straight to hell, she decided they may as well get to the conversation she was sure would change their relationship forever. "John..."

"Hmmmm," he looked up as he nearly finished his plate. She still had half hers to finish off, but her mind was on different things than eating, and much more interesting and stimulating.

"When you asked me to go look into the supply closet so you could climb through the vent to lure HR away from me, did you think you were coming back?"

"I wasn't sure, Joss."

"Why did you do it?"

"You know why."

"Maybe I need to hear it, again." He glanced at her, his gaze unwavering as he answered.

"I couldn't lose you."

"So you risked your life for mine; what made you think I could handle losing you?" she asked, not angry, she just wanted to know. What made him think she could handle losing him any better than he could handle losing her? His gaze slid from hers, but she wasn't going to allow that, his eyes revealed everything he tried to with-hold. She reached out touching his hand. "Look at me," she whispered her demand and his eyes lifted. His eyes showed his vulnerability, which she was sure he'd hate if he knew she could easily read everything he was feeling in this moment.

"You could handle living your life and moving on without me, Joss, but I can't live without you. When I dreamt that you died in my arms, I wanted to die with you." She released a breath feeling a lump form in her throat. He was being honest, he honestly believed he couldn't live without her, and it left her feeling ready to cry. "I can't even imagine what my life would be like if I didn't have you in it, you make me believe that there is still good out in the world."

"There is, not everything is bad, John."

"Everything I've ever known has been shrouded in the dark. I've walked in the shadows for so long I'm not even sure if I know how not to anymore." He removed his hand from beneath hers, going to sip his wine, and she saw him trying to distance himself from her a little bit.

"You don't belong in the shadows, not anymore."

"Once you become the dark, Joss, you can't ever go back. You can't ever undo the things you've done."

"No, you're right, you can't," she agreed, getting his eyes on her, seeing the saddened expression, sensing he was gearing himself up for her to tell him she couldn't ever be with him because of his past. But she didn't love the man from the past, she loved the man that was sitting directly in front of her. She only knew the John Reese that sat before her, struggling to rise above all his scars and wounds he had and those he had inflicted. And she loved him. Truly, deeply, and forever, no matter if he didn't love her back, he had her heart always. But she didn't want to scare him off. She was sure professing your love to a man that looked battle scarred, weary of the world, and hated himself was a giant no-no. So she was going to go slowly with him. Take her time, piece his heart back together, and then tell him that she loved him.

But first things first, she needed him to realize that she wanted a future with him no matter what his past was.

"But, John, I also know that your past doesn't define who you are, it's just a part of what makes you into the person you are today." His eyes blazed holes into hers, seeing an unrecognizable emotion flicker across his features. He leaned his elbows onto the table around his plate, his palms facing her, spreading his fingers wide apart.

"Do you know what I see when I look at my hands?" his expression was devoid of any emotion, his eyes no longer on her, but on his hands with a far-away expression glittering in them.

"What?" she had a feeling she wasn't going to like what he was about to say.

"Blood," he stated as he laid his hands back onto the table. "All I see is blood from the men and women I've murdered. And no matter how hard I try I can never wash it off." His eyes lifted onto hers, seeing into his soul, seeing the man that was hurting beneath all that armor he wore to keep everyone out. She saw him clearly, so she was going to be just as open. She never let anyone fully in; it was much easier keeping everyone at arm's length, that way she couldn't be hurt, but John was worth it. She reached out, taking his hand into hers and cradled that same left hand that caressed her face.

"You know what I see?"

"Joss..."

"I see a hand that has held a gun spilling blood, becoming a weapon as it's curled into a fist, taking life, but also so loving, so soft, extremely gentle as it caressed my face." She felt him go to tug his hand free, but she tightened her grip. He wasn't getting away that easily. "I see a hand that trembled as he touched my face like I was fine china, like I was the most precious thing he ever in his life felt before, and he was afraid by touching me he'd break it. I don't see blood soaked hands, all I see are hands that have saved just as many lives as he has taken," she spoke quietly as she watched him. She lifted his hand so she could press gentle kisses to his fingertips. She felt the tremble, but didn't respond to it. She knew actions spoke louder than words to him, and she needed him to know that his past did not scare her away. "Your past is your past, just like mine is mine. Nothing you say about who you once were could ever make me walk away from you."

"How can you be so perfect?" He begged for an answer. She smiled as she lowered his hand from her lips, to gently link his hand with hers on the table. The waiter seemed to sense they were in a deep conversation because he hadn't shown up to take their plates away, or find out if they wanted dessert.

"I'm not perfect, John."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not. I'm human just you like. I make mistakes, so don't put me on a pedestal because I wouldn't be able to live up to your expectations. I'm stubborn which gets me into trouble, I got a hell of an independent streak that can also sometimes get me into trouble," she had the grace enough to smile softly as she listed her known faults. "I have a short temper and I have a hard time letting people in, so you see, John, I'm not perfect."

"Joss, I don't expect anything. I don't want you to feel pressured that our relationship must change because of what I feel for you."

"And what is that? What do you feel for me? When you kissed me, it sure felt like a promise of something more. It sure felt more than just sexual attraction."

"It was more."

"More as in you want to move on with your life with me as just a lover that you share your body with, a partner you can share your life with, or what John?"

"It depends."

"On what?" She felt sick right now. She didn't like hearing 'it depends,' it left too many variables.

"On you."

"On me?" She asked, surprised

"I want more, but only more that you want to give."

"That's not an answer, John, put yourself out there, stop protecting yourself." She knew it was not fair of her to ask him to be so open with her, he already revealed so much when she wasn't offering everything up front to him. But he so often hid himself, she needed to be sure, she needed him to take a leap of faith for her. If he could without knowing the outcome, she was sure he was really ready to move forward with his life, not let his past demons take him down.

"Joss…"

"Stop hiding from me," and just like that she saw it in his eyes. She could feel it in his hand as he shuddered, as if his whole body could feel the imaginary walls he built around his broken heart crumble down. His blue eyes shone bright. "So tell me John, what do you want?"

"I-I want to spend my life with you, Joss." His softly spoken words wrapped around her heart. She'd take that as a very good first step for him.

"Good, because I want to spend my life with you." John's body relaxed in his chair as if he was worried she didn't want to be in his life or something. It felt good to get some of this out, they had more to discuss, like she had to explain to him why she really hadn't wanted him to help her with HR. He thought it was because, in the eyes of the law, he was a criminal, but that hadn't been the real reason.

But she decided that, that conversation would have to wait they needed some humor, they needed to lighten the mood a bit. She didn't want to prod too hard on getting him to open up, for fear it would have the reverse effect, and he shut her out again. "So, John, where will you be taking me on our second date?" She asked as subtly as she could while placing her elbows on the table to lean her chin on her hands. "Or do I get to see your culinary skills put to use?"

"Is that your flimsy attempt at hinting at a home-cooked meal?" he sat forward. The smile he gave her could melt a girl's heart and she was no exception.

"Well you were bragging about being a good cook, I think it's only fair I get to taste test."

"I wasn't bragging," he defended himself.

"Yeah, you were, which I think is cute, almost, but not quite as cute as the fact that you can't dance." The things she learned about him were surprising as well as intriguing. She learned very little of his past, but she did learn little things like he loved cooking, he loved watching basketball and football, as well as the fact that he loved to play golf which she'd never done before. She got shivers just thinking of John being her teacher. But when he revealed he couldn't dance very well, she had been shocked. He said he never had time to go to any romantic events with Jessica, that most of their dates were spent at restaurants, catching a movie to relax from their stressful jobs, and after things ended with her he never needed to know how to dance. Right then and there she wanted to teach him. His look he gave her right now was so adorable that she wanted to reach across the table to grab him. The shy smile, the blush on his face was nearly her undoing.

"You just won't let that go will you."

"Nope, you teased me about not knowing how to golf, so how about eventually I'll teach you how to dance and you can teach me how to golf." She purposely let the timeframe be vague, she wanted to see if he had any reservations about thinking of a future together.

"It's a deal." She couldn't believe that they were already intertwining their lives together so easily. This had to be the best first date she ever had.

"So, what's for dessert?" 

* * *

He walked side by side with her towards her front entrance. This date hadn't been what he was expecting, he knew she was fun, but he had been so sure that their need to clear the air between them would have left them both emotionally drained. But it hadn't. Although, to be fair they hadn't talked about everything that was needed to be discussed, but they did talk enough. He shared enough for one night, he tried to keep open with her, but it was hard. He wasn't one to let everyone in easily, though she wasn't either. They stood together on the front stoop, near her front door. Her keys in her one hand, and she turned so they were facing one another.

"I had a wonderful time John."

"Me too," he said, wanting to reach out to touch her.

"You sound surprised."

"I am."

"Hey!" he grinned.

"No, not about having a wonderful time with you, its just-I haven't been on a real date in a very long time, Joss."

"Right, I mean Zoe was just sex."

"Yes, she was. It was what we both wanted."

"So, um, does that mean since we are dating that it's over between you and Zoe, or are you going to continue to sleep together?"

"It's over between us, I told her this afternoon once Shaw came back, she understood wishing me happiness and not to become a stranger."

"Really, she understood?" She clearly didn't believe him, which left him confused.

"Yeah?"

"She's okay with you dumping her for another woman?"

"I didn't dump her, since we weren't going out. I just told her that our arrangement was over and she was fine with it. Joss, it was just sex for both of us."

"Okay, I'm done with talking about your past conquests." She looked away, but he quickly grabbed her around the waist pulling her to him. Her dark eyes widened, then darkened in interest as her gaze slid to his mouth.

"I only want you," he leaned his head down to brush his lips against hers in a gentle goodnight kiss. He sucked in oxygen through his nostrils when the overwhelming urge to deepen the kiss almost overrode his brain. He stepped back, breaking the kiss. It was just supposed to be a simple goodnight kiss. He forced a smile on his lips even though she stood stone still. "Goodnight Joss,"

"Where are you going?" she blurted out, but seemed to mentally shake herself. "I mean, do you want to come in for coffee?"

"I…" but before he could agree or disagree the door to her place opened, and her teenage son stood there. "Taylor." He greeted.

"Mr. Badass, long time no see." He grinned as he leaned against the doorframe. "So you're my mom's date tonight huh."

"Taylor, what are you doing home?"

"Study group ended early so I decided to head home rather than stay at dad's place." John looked between Joss and her son. She decided to explain.

"Sometimes if his study group lasts well into the night, he stays at his dad's place if the study group is at his friend Eric's place like tonight had been."

"Well I should be going anyway, Joss. It was nice seeing you again, Taylor, under much better circumstances."

"Likewise, John." He grinned. He turned to look back at Joss who seemed to have a crestfallen look on her face.

"Taylor baby can you give John and I a few minutes, please." She motioned between them while her son grinned widely at them.

"Sure, just no making out, mom, that's so gross to think of you doing that." He turned to leave them alone outside again, he quietly shut the door. His eyes slid to hers.

"Teenagers," John smiled.

"Yeah, my kid is one of a kind." She took a step forward, resting her hands on his chest. "So before I let you escape, when will our second date happen?"

"Well, I guess when both of our schedules are clear."

"Are you free, Saturday night?" she rubbed his shoulders with her hands. That was a couple days from now, he wasn't sure if he would be free or not.

"Uh, well I'm not sure if we'll have a new number or not."

"You won't."

"How do you know the scums of the world will be quiet or not?"

"Easy, I'll just ask a favor of Finch and Shaw to sit you out on that case, and well you guys owe me a lot of favors." He couldn't argue with her on that. They did owe her a lot, being sat out of another case held no appeal, but not seeing her Saturday night held even less than no appeal.

"Well I guess then it's a date."

"So I get to see John Reese's place, I'm excited."

"You should be, I don't just let anyone to my apartment."

"You do know, once I know where you live I can go to your place and break in any time I want?" She kissed his chin. "You know since you have broken into my place so many times, I get my chance to even us out." She pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. "And to get to see that secret gun stash, you have hidden somewhere there." She pressed another soft kiss to his other cheek. "Or creep into your bed while you're sleeping." She whispered her mouth inches from his, her one hand had at some point slid around his neck.

"Joss..." She captured his lips with hers, his hands immediately lifting into her hair as he kissed her back, but she ended it before it really started. It left him wanting more but with her son home, he couldn't do what he wanted, which was to push her into her apartment and suck at her mouth for hours. He mentally shook himself from the thoughts, time to say goodnight, and leave before he made an ass of himself in front of her kid. "Goodnight." He pressed his lips against hers once more before moving down the front stoop, to turn back to look at her.

"Goodnight John." She wiggled her fingers slightly which he reciprocated. Then she backed too far up and before he could tell her to watch out, she crashed into the closed front door.

"Mom, play it cool!" her kid shouted through the door. Her face flushed, as she turned and entered her apartment while he turned to walk towards his car. He knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep at all tonight, his mind was going to be so full of her that he wouldn't be able to relax. Maybe when he got home he would figure out what to cook her for Saturday night, for the woman he loved. 

* * *

Author's note: so, there is the full date. I love Taylor, and I loved that even though thinking his mom was going to makeout with Mr. Badass he still listened in to hear her walk into the closed door. From what I saw on the show Taylor and Joss had a very close and loving relationship, so naturally he'd root for her and be embarrassed for her, and give her encouragement just like she would for him.

Side little note: I might write a oneshot to this story of John teaching Joss to play golf, can you imagine John standing behind Joss, teaching her how to swing the club ;P I already got an idea:

_She bit her lip, trying to not moan as she purposely pretended not to know what he meant, as his hand slid to her inner thigh pushing to widen her stance a bit. Who knew golf could be this much fun?_

Ugh, guys I need to stop getting ideas because there is already something I'm going to post in a later chapter that I'm sure will leave you guys curious since it piqued my interest as I wrote it. Help me, I need to stop!

Anyways thanks for reading, reviewing, and letting me bounce off ideas on you seeing what you guys would enjoy anyways i heart you guys.


	7. The Second Date

He moved around his kitchen quickly, tapping the 'talk' button on his cell phone when he got an incoming call from Shaw. They received a new number or rather shall he say an old number that got himself in trouble again. Leon Tao, was eventually going to get himself into the kind of trouble that would result in them not being able to get there in time. Shaw claimed it would be a piece of cake to solve without him, while Finch was less enthusiastic with his assurance since the previous time the two of them had met ended up with both of them in a cemetery. Luckily neither of them had become permanent residents. John had made them both promise the first moment they needed his or Joss's assistance, they would end their date immediately, and go help with the number. They agreed, but assured him that they were fine without them.

He placed his cell phone by his ear but didn't bother greeting her. "Is Finch alright, do you need assistance, Shaw?" He should have known the drop off of the stolen bonds wouldn't go well with the people Leon stole them from.

"We're fine, all of us are. Fusco and Leon are in the backseat whining like babies, Finch is sitting beside me on his laptop, and I am waiting to shoot some kneecaps."

"If need be, Ms. Shaw." He could hear Finch in the background correcting the woman. He cradled his cell phone in the crux of his neck and shoulder to free up his other hand. He opened the oven to eye the chicken cooking to perfection. He inhaled the aroma, hoping Joss would enjoy the meal he was making.

"So, what do you want?" he asked, Shaw never just called up for no reason. He needed to finish getting ready for his date tonight; he had taken a shower, shaved, but had stopped short of getting dressed to cook the meal. He was only in his black running shorts, which weren't exactly second date apparel.

"I want to make sure you know it's your second date."

"I know how to count, Shaw." He answered irritably, vaguely wondering why she cared how many dates he went on with Joss. He lifted the top of the pan of fried potatoes, tomatoes, and other ingredients, making sure they were browning just right. He replaced that top, to check how the mango was cooking. He sure hoped Joss would enjoy trying spicy mango salad.

"Yeah, well I got a bet with Fusco, it's double or nothing, on if you and Carter will have sex tonight." He stiffened. They were betting on his possible relationship with Joss.

'I'm glad you see this as a joke," Reese's voice became softer. Deadly.

"It's not a joke, Reese; its two hundred bucks and I hate losing. So get yourself some." He exhaled roughly before hanging up on her, flinging his cell phone onto the counter beside him. He felt some of his excitement for tonight flee him. Fusco and Shaw viewed his feelings for Carter as a joke, something to bet on, like a game. Maybe they knew that things wouldn't work out for them, and that what he had always figured was correct; that a woman like Joss could never fall in love with a man like him.

Why was he letting them get into his head? It was Shaw, she didn't know anything about emotions or feelings and Fusco didn't want the bane of his existence near his partner! But even though he tried to put his mind at ease over their stupid bet, he couldn't. Because it was all his self-doubt being shown to him through people that knew him and Joss best, they knew he'd just fuck it up. It was why he was alone, Jessica had given up on him, and he couldn't quite get his shit together to get her back. And when he finally did get it together, it was too late, she was gone.

He slammed the cupboard door shut irritably after finding two champagne glasses. Maybe he should just call and cancel with Joss, she didn't know he was in love with her, he could just let her think it was just purely sexual attraction and that be that. Save her from the mess that was his life, he didn't do relationships, they never lasted for him. He lost acquaintances, close friends, family, girlfriends; some because of his own stupidity, some because they were taken from him, but even though it would be the better thing of him to do to call her and cancel, he couldn't. He didn't want to be alone anymore, he had been alone for so long, and he was so tired of it. Maybe it was because he was in his forties, or maybe it was all the near misses he's had in his life, but this time he wasn't going to allow fear of opening his heart up stop him. It cost him Jessica when he let her just leave in that airport, he had rather lived alone because it was easier, it was all he had known. Putting his heart on the line with no guarantee scared the hell out of him, more than looking down a barrel of gun of a terrorist. He tried to rationalize it, that it was better for her, safer, and he couldn't give her the life she needed and wanted. But in reality it had been selfish, it had been because of his fear of letting someone in, but with Joss, she was his second chance and he wasn't going to be afraid this time.

"Well, well, well I'm glad I didn't knock on the door." He blinked, whirling around, having been completely wrapped in his thoughts that he hadn't heard her break in to his place. It was uncharacteristic of him, his ears had been trained for even the smallest noise to alert him or he'd be dead, which left him a little unsettled at just how easily Joss could overtake his brain. She was wearing a long wool black jacket, her legs bare beneath it, her long hair down once again, darker makeup on this time, and she had a giant smile on her face. Her eyes weren't on his but rather his bare chest. "I had this stupid fantasy that you would be wearing a 'Kiss the Chef' apron, but I got to say this is so much better."

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" he asked with a tilt of his head and a smile that spread across his lips. She leisurely slid her gaze up his body to finally meet his eyes.

"Have you, John?"

"Touché." For the first time he noticed she had a box in her arms, he became immediately suspicious, he told her no food. "What's in the box?" she grinned as she walked towards him, giving him an intoxicating inhalation of her perfume. Was it jasmine? She put the box down on his countertop of his kitchen island, before flipping open the lid to the box, and he peered inside.

"Finch, told me you had a weakness for chocolate." His eyes lifted. "So I hope you like chocolate éclairs." He reached in to grab one, and she smacked his hand, before slamming the lid shut.

"Hey," he looked at her with puppy dog eyes.

"No dessert before dinner." She tsked before sliding her purse beside the box, and removed her jacket from her body. He gulped a little as he eyed her. Had he thought the red mini-dress she wore two nights ago was beautiful, provocative, and mouth-watering, this dress sent a shot of heat straight to his cock. It was another mini-dress, the cut just different, the neckline didn't plunge low. Instead it dipped to give him a hint of her cleavage, but not nearly as much as the other night, but it was the damned color. He was sure red got most men going, but Joss in a shimmery shade of silver, was going to kill him. She had dark skin, so the silver enhanced her beautiful eyes, beautiful body, and he shifted a bit.

"You look amazing."

"In this old thing," she waved a hand at him. "I couldn't splurge on another dress after I spent my life savings on the red one." His eyes widened. "Oh relax, I'm joking, mostly. I hope you don't mind I wore an old dress." Mind…if she looked down she'd see just how much he enjoyed this dress.

"Clothing doesn't matter to me, you could wear a brown paper bag, and you'd still be the most beautiful woman I ever seen in my life." She smiled warmly at him. "I'll take your coat," he motioned, grabbing it from her before rushing away. "What are you doing here so early anyway, Joss?" he asked, eyeing her as he laid her coat on the stairs that lead upstairs.

"Well, I wanted to see if you needed a hand cooking, plus you owe me a tour of your place, since I've never been invited before. I didn't want that to get in the way of our date." He lifted his arm to look at his watch.

"So that's why you showed up an hour early?" he shook his head not believing that. He knew the real reason she was here early. "You were making sure I wasn't cheating and ordering takeout, weren't you?"

"NO!" she couldn't lie worth of spit, he eyed her while shaking his head. "Fine, okay, yes I wanted to catch you ordering takeout."

"Why?"

"Because, I wanted to tease you, you get so flustered, it's cute."

"I don't get flustered Joss...and I am not cute." He assured her walking by her.

"No you certainly aren't," she agreed but he didn't miss the look on her face as her gaze slid to his chest. "How are you feeling?" she demanded seemingly taking the moment to remember his injuries. She followed him to his kitchen.

"I'm feeling better Joss, they're healing." Her eyes traveled over his gunshot wound at his shoulder, before dipping to eye the one on his side. They were very fresh, still very tender, but they were healing. She reached out, and brushed her fingertips against the one that was life-threatening. He thought he saw unshed tears welling up in her liquid brown eyes. He slid a finger under her chin and lifted, forcing her gaze up to his. "I'm fine, Joss."

"I know, but it just makes me realize that I might never have gotten here." A tear slid down her cheek, which he wiped away with his thumb.

"Gotten where?"

"Here, with you. We didn't have time to talk about what happened at the morgue because you were arrested, I took Quinn to the Fed's building, and everything was happening so quickly. It made me realize that life is really short and you have to make the most of it while you can."

"Joss," the words were on the tip of his tongue, he was ready to blurt out he loved her, but stopped. He took a step back before he cleared his throat, her gaze appeared a little stormy. "We have all night, tonight. Let me check dinner first... and go change." He motioned with his thumb behind him. Her gaze cleared up as a smile filled her face.

"You don't need to change for me,"

"If Finch realized I wore my running shorts for our date tonight, I think he might have a stroke."

"It could be our little secret," she grinned mischievously.

"Nice try," he murmured remembering the last time they had a similar conversation and it had been him wanting to keep something secret from Finch.

"Oh come on, you're still sore about the coffee."

"Yes, because I needed that coffee." He opened the oven to check on the food. He slid the oven door closed. "Then I had to endure not one lecture, but a second one when you hung me out to dry with Finch."

"I don't remember him lecturing you." She furrowed her brows.

"He did, remember it was right before you helped take my boots off and I…" he paused realizing she played him. He fell right into her evil trap, as he decided Joss was a vixen, as she grinned like the damned Cheshire cat. "I'm going to go change."

"No finish what you were saying, John, when I helped take your combat boots off and you…."

"Nope," he shook his head.

"And you had a raging erection for me which you didn't want me to see." She supplied. He paused halfway to his closet.

"Raging," he arched a brow at her choice of words.

"Yeah, I read a lot of romance novels." She smirked. "So what are we having for dinner?"

"Speaking of, since you are here early, can you do me a favor and stir the pan in the front and to the left. It should be coming close to being ready to mix."

"Sure, but what are we having?"

"It's called Chicken Biryani, with a side of spicy mango salad."

"Never heard of either one, what's in the spicy mango salad?"

"Mango," she rolled her eyes, which he resisted the urge to smile at.

"Besides mango, John."

"Well it has shallots, cilantro, some red pepper flakes, salt and pepper to add to the spice. It tastes good," he assured her, watching as she stirred the pan he asked her to, which left him a moment to eye her ass. He groaned inwardly as the dress clung to her shapely behind before he forced himself to look away. He disappeared into his closet, needing to change, he slid his running shorts off of him before grabbing a pair of gray boxer-briefs, and he slid his dress pants on. He decided to wear a gray dress shirt, and exited the closet with the dress shirt undone. She turned to watch him as he buttoned his shirt up, before tucking it into his pants. He held his socks in his hands as well as his dress shoes, before she shook her head.

"Leave them off."

"Why?"

"Because it gives me an excuse to bail on these heels that are killing my feet," She gave him a sincere look. "I'd feel obligated to wear these Chinese torture devices if you are wearing your dress shoes." He smiled softly at her.

"Okay."

"Oh thank god," she reached out leaning a hand on his forearm as she immediately yanked one heel off before going for the other. She lost about four inches of height, and she leaned her head back to stare up into his eyes. "You're a life saver."

"Why did you wear heels that hurt your feet, Joss, I wouldn't have cared if you showed up in slippers?" he walked back to his closet throwing his socks and shoes into it before sliding it shut, but not used to being barefoot while dressed up.

"And let you see my bunny slippers on the second date, are you nuts?!" She teased.

"Wait, you actually have slippers?"

"Yeah, how do you keep your feet warm?"

"Socks."

"You caveman." He laughed, noticing a smile spread widely across her beautiful face. "I like it when you laugh, you should do it more often." Their eyes met, he saw the humor dancing in them as well as something else that he couldn't make out. He walked around her back to the pans on the stove, making sure nothing was burning. He stirred it once again, figuring one more minute, and it should be done. "John..."

"Yeah?"

"You're sexy barefoot." He shifted just his gaze to eye her as she stood beside him. She leaned forward with her forearms against the countertop beside his stove and cellphone, giving him a nice look down her dress. He cleared his throat looking away, wondering if she was doing this to him on purpose.

"I didn't realize you had a foot fetish."

She laughed. "No, try more of a…John fetish." He turned to eye her, surprised. "What, have you never had a woman flirt with you before?"

"I have, I'm just getting used to _you_ flirting with me."

"Well, get used to it." She laid her hand on his, while his gaze slid to her lips. "Although your flirting skills need some work, you only got one that works." She sighed. "And it works ALL the time on me." He had no idea what she was talking about.

"Oh and which one is that?"

"The only one that works is when you bat those pretty eyes at me with those long lashes, it should be outlawed."

"I do not bat my eyes at you," he shook his head as he bent to pull the chicken out of the oven placing it on a burner on his stove before sliding the oven mitt off.

"Oh yes you do!" he motioned for her to grab the two plates on his dining table. She walked over there, coming back with the two empty plates, and he noticed she had hot pink nail polish on her toes. He looked away and started putting the mixture of rice, tomatoes, fried potatoes, and onions onto each plate, before strategically placing several chopped pieces of chicken onto each plate. "All you have to do is look at me with those baby blues and I'm toast."

"Really? Why doesn't it ever work when you reaming my ass about me doing something illegal?"

"Because, I have fun reaming your very fine ass about your illegal activity," She retorted. He shook his head, finding this night even more enjoyable than their first date. She was relaxed, having fun, and seemed to be in a light mood. It helped since he had been so close to canceling the date because of learning about the bet. He scowled a bit. "What's wrong?" he blinked after he realized he had paused.

"It's nothing, can you hand me the two small plates?" She carried the two platefuls of food to place them on the table before returning with the two smaller plates which he was going to put their side dish of the spicy mango salad on. He scooped up some for both plates before motioning for her to go ahead, that he'd carry it. She sat down which he frowned at. "Oh, relax John you don't have to pull out my chair at every date."

"Yes I do."

"Why?"

"Because, Joss, it was how I was raised."

"You mentioned you lost both your parents at a young age, who taught you to be so chivalrous?"

"Whenever my dad was home from being deployed he would teach me how to treat a woman, he told me to always open doors for women, hold out their chair, and be gentlemanly." He said quietly not having thought about this stuff in a very long time. He placed the plates down for them before pouring her a glass of champagne, then himself before finally sitting down across from her.

"Everything looks so delicious, John." He watched her silently as she took a forkful of his chicken biryani, before placing it into her mouth. Her eyes slid shut.

"Are you alright? It's too hot isn't it?" she waved him away as her eyes opened as she ate before swallowing.

"This is delicious, where did you learn how to make this?"

"I learned it while I was over-seas, it's a Pakistani/Indian dish."

"Well everything is perfect," they ate in comfortable silence for a while. After a little bit she seemed to be mulling something over in her mind, her eyes were on him almost unblinkingly, and he was a little worried over whatever was on her mind.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She answered slowly.

"Are you sure? I got a feeling that there is something on your mind." She nodded a little in affirmative, before sliding her fork down onto the plate. He sensed this was round number two of deep conversation that he was sure would leave them both feeling a little exposed.

"You said I changed your mind, changed you, did you mean that?" He took a sip of his champagne before answering her.

"Yes. You changed my mind, you impacted my life in that moment without even knowing you did it. I was just this bum to you, but to me you were something unique, you exuded something I was sure was gone from this world."

"And what was that?"

"Selflessness, you didn't see a bum, a homeless man, you saw someone that needed help regardless of whether they deserved it or not."

"You deserved it." She reached out, touching his hand. "When I first met you, you're right I didn't see a homeless man, I saw someone hurting. John, your eyes are so expressive, I felt like I was drowning in your sorrow, and I had no idea how to help you."

"You changed me in that moment and you continued to change me for the better the longer I knew you, you challenged me to be a better person. You've been helping people for so long, not out of guilt, remorse, or in search of redemption like me, but because it's who you are," he said quietly as he stared deeply into her eyes. She didn't look away, but he broke the eye contact to retreat a bit, and focus on his food. He angrily stabbed his fork into his food realizing he was once again allowing the fear of opening himself up to hold him back. They ate quietly again for several minutes, she seemed preoccupied with what he told her, and he was silently berating himself for not telling her everything. He ate his food he prepared but didn't taste a damn bit of it.

"You changed me too, John." He looked up shocked. "Don't look so surprised, you truly have no idea how remarkable you are. You have no idea your own impact on my life and the lives of people around you. I always believed everything was black and white, good and bad, no wiggle room, but not everything can fit into a neat little category. You didn't, you intrigued me when you were only known to me as the 'man in the suit', I didn't know what the hell you were, but I didn't entirely think you were this angel of death. You were this unusual criminal that I didn't always believe was behind everything, you annoyed the hell out me most days, and I soon realized my cases often ran smack dab into you." He smiled softly.

"I have the ability of pissing people off." She nodded absently.

"Then you saved my life when you had no reason too. None whatsoever, you didn't ask for anything in return, and I thought I was doing the right thing when I turned you into Snow and his happy helper." He watched as tears welled up, he couldn't stand it to see her cry over something that happened a long time ago, and he never viewed her as the cause of his shooting. They were bound to catch up to him sooner or later, it just so happened they used her good nature to get to him sooner.

"Joss..."

"No I need to tell you this. I only gave you up to Snow because I didn't want to find you bleeding out. I didn't want you to die, I wanted to save your life, I wanted to save you from whatever the hell you were doing. I thought that if I gave you up to Snow, you'd be safe, and I got you shot instead." Tears slipped down her cheeks, and he was helpless to stop them. "I feel guilty till this day, you're a good man, John. You think you are this man that belongs in the shadows, but you can never entirely walk in the dark because there is so much light that ebbs from you. You aren't the dark, John, you aren't like the other CIA agents, you have a heart that bleeds, that yearns for something more. And as I got to know you better and better, the more I understood you, and the more I valued our friendship."

"Joss..." He tried again to get a word in edgewise, but she reached out grabbing his hand, almost as in a way of asking for him to let her finish. He patiently waited, stroking his thumb across her palm, as they both abandoned eating their food.

"John, being a woman surrounded by men in the workplace doesn't exactly build trust with the boys, they don't want a bitch on their turf. So I had to be ballsy, I had to have an attitude, and I had to do everything myself because I knew that people would stab me in the back to get rid of me. I was always alone, never needed to trust anyone, which was perfect because I don't trust many people as it was but it was so easy to trust you."

"Do you still trust me?"

"With my life, do you trust me?"

"With my life." He whispered her words back to her, feeling like he had just declared his undying love to her. He cleared his throat realizing that he had nearly eaten everything off his plate without even remembering, putting the actual food in his mouth. He slid his chair back. "I'm full." He stood up.

"Me too." She picked up her champagne taking a sip before standing up. She moved towards his kitchen island while he cleaned up the plates. He would just wash everything tonight after she left or tomorrow. When he had cleared the table he turned to find her standing still beside the kitchen island waiting for him. Soft music filtered through his place. "I turned your stereo on." That wasn't all she did. She had dimmed the lights of his place, his eyes were drawn to his made up king sized bed off just a bit from the dining room. His place was basically one gigantic room. "You still owe me that tour."

"I do."

"I'll get it later, right now I want to dance."

"I don't think that's such a good idea." He said hesitantly.

"Oh come on, think of it as your first lesson." She grinned, staring up at him. He decided to try, she had her hand outstretched and he took it. He pulled her to him wrapping an arm respectfully around her middle of her back, while holding her right hand.

"If I step on your toes, I'm sorry."

"Nothing can be as bad as those torturous heels I was in." He stood still, like a statue. "John?"

"What?"

"Dancing requires moving," she teased before dropping her arm down from his shoulder and releasing his hand. "You can follow my lead." She murmured grabbing his hands placing them on her slender hips before she wrapped her arms around his neck. She moved and he followed. "You learn quickly." He didn't bother responding he just stared down at her, while he matched her movements. "I wasn't totally honest with you." She whispered leaving him confused. She was always honest, even to a fault.

"About what?"

"About why I didn't want you to help me with bringing down HR, I told you it was because, in the eyes of the law you were a criminal, but that wasn't the real reason."

"Okay, what was the real reason?"

"I didn't want to lose you."

"What?"

"John, I didn't fully believe I would survive the fallout with HR and the Russians. I was so determined to do it alone so that I didn't get you, Finch, Shaw, or Fusco in any harm's way. I knew if I told them they would listen, but you, you would have never listened. You'd follow me, you'd follow me to the end of the Earth to protect me, and I couldn't let you die because of me, because of my need to get justice for Beecher, for myself, so I hid on you to do it myself."

"I'd die before I let anything happen to you."

"I know and you almost did."

"I'm right here." He lowered his head and kissed her softly, tenderly, and lovingly. She kissed him back for a few seconds before he broke the kiss. Their foreheads rested against one another's; he could easily see the exposed emotions on her face. He worked his Adam's apple, willing himself to tell her. "Joss..."

"Hmmm?"

"Can we sit down on the couch and talk?" She leaned her head back sensing something was different. Her brown eyes were so filled with an unnamed emotion he wanted to reach out and hold her. She nodded slightly, he slid from her arms to go grab their glasses of champagne, and the box of éclairs taking them to his living space. She put her clutch that she had grabbed from the kitchen island placing it on the coffee-table before she sat down slowly onto his couch. He placed their glasses down onto the coffee-table along with the box next to her purse when his cell phone rang. He had the earpiece out for their date. "Hold that thought, I need to make sure they're alright."

"Yeah sure," she agreed and he smiled softly. He felt nervous, but he also felt determined. After he spoke to Shaw, he was going to tell this woman he loved her, and to hell with the consequences.

* * *

_John, I love you. _Nope too bland, she decided._ John, I know it's too soon to say this but I can't help but be in love with yo__u_, she shook her head against that one too. She tried different variations in her head while she watched him walk away to go answer his ringing cell phone. He moved with the grace and elegance of a panther. She had a sense that this conversation he wanted to have was something big and she was anxious over what it was. She had just put herself out there this time after he had opened himself up to her on their first date, and he responded just the way she thought he would. His eyes showed what he was feeling as she opened up to him. He looked ready to share himself with her and then BAM, he said 'can we talk' which had to mean he was running. He was stubborn, as was she, so he wasn't going to get away from her that easily. She watched as him as he answered the phone.

Her own phone began ringing, which alarmed her. Not only was his ringing but so was hers. That couldn't be good. She reached over to the coffee-table grabbing and opened her clutch, pushing past her gun, going for her cell phone, seeing a recognizable unknown number. It was Shaw. She answered while John was already talking looking tense.

"Hey,"

"Hey, can you and Reese get your asses down here!" She heard gunfire in the background.

"What happened, I thought the case was clear cut and dry?!" she demanded standing up. John looked over to her as he ran to get his shoes on. Oh great, she was going to have to wear the damned torture devices again.

"Tell that to the twenty guys that have us surrounded with our number, who knew this guy could piss off so many people!"

"LEON DID WHAT?!" Joss heard John's roar, she never quite heard John so loud. "Finch, when Joss and I get there and save them, Leon's dead!"

"Uh, Shaw, who is this number again?" she asked as she vaguely remembered a man named Leon, which drew an irritated look on all their faces, when they had called upon the man to drive a stolen ambulance. She nearly cried when she slid her feet back into the heels.

"That dumb-ass named Leon who keeps whining for John. He assured us that everything was cool with his company; so we did the drop off with the stolen bonds with the original people that were after him there. They are neatly tied up in the back with a few knee wounds; however our attempt to leave the building was sort of stalled when about twenty guys with assault rifles appeared. Leon failed to mention he had swindled about a hundred thousand dollars from the company he was currently working for, and now THEY want to kill him. Bottom line, Fusco, and I need your assistance."

"Don't forget me too," a man's whining voice sounded in the background.

"Shut up," Shaw's aggravated tone was the last thing Carter heard before she hung up as she rushed over to where John was practically running towards a closet between his bed and the living space. He opened it and she eyed inside incredulously.

"Hot damn, now that is quite the stash." Half of his body disappeared into it, his butt was hanging out and she moaned softly. "And that's quite the view, John." He reappeared handing her an assault rifle, while holding his own. He then re-disappeared into the closet, allowing her to gaze on his butt again, before he stood straight up and held two vests before sliding the door shut.

"What did Shaw manage to tell you?"

"Twenty guys with assault rifles all baring down on them because of some guy named Leon." She relayed the limited information she got while John's look grew stormy.

"Finch called me, he's stuck in the car; he was going to cut the power, but he feared that it would give the Belgiums the advantage rather than Shaw and Fusco." He gave her a vest which she put over her dress before grabbing her discarded jacket. He did the same before yanking on his long black wool coat of his own. "Can you run in those?" he motioned to her heels.

"No, not unless I want blood in them, but I'll just ignore the sound of my feet dying, let's go." They rushed out of his place and down the long hallway, before they exited into the cool night's air. They climbed into his car. "John..."

"Yeah," he said as he started the car.

"Our date is going to continue after we save our friends from certain disaster, right?"

"If you want it to." He gave her a smile as he drove quickly away from his apartment complex. "We still have those éclairs you brought to eat."

"And you owe me that tour of your place and you really need to finish your first dance lesson."

"Plus I want to talk to you about something." She saw the shadow flicker across his face. Whatever this was, it had to be bad, if it was worrying him this much. Well whatever it was, she would combat it because she wasn't giving up. Sure they were running out into a dangerous situation in the middle of their date, but they were together, doing it, and it felt natural. It felt perfect, they just belonged, and she was willing to go slow as a snail's pace for him if he needed her to.

"So John, when we get there, you'll let me do most of the shooting, right?"

"No."

"You have two healing wounds."

"Yes, _healing_ wounds Joss."

"I'm not letting you get shot up again." She couldn't live through that again, watching him get shot. She had to suffer through watching him bite bullets twice now, and both times it was because of her.

"That's why I have the vest on. There is no way in hell I'm letting you go into that office building alone."

"I have Shaw and Fusco." She reasoned.

"Who have pistols and limited ammo since taking down the other group of people that wanted Leon dead. They aren't any help to you."

"I'm not arguing with you on this, John."

"Neither am I, Joss, because I'm going in there." She dropped the subject realizing she wasn't going to win this fight. When he made his mind up, it was up, so all she could do was sternly lecture him about being safe.

"Can you promise me not to get shot?"

"I will try not to get shot, that's the best I can do."

"I guess that's good enough." She sighed as he pulled up beside what she recognized was Finch's car. Their mutual friend exited the car as they exited John's. He had his laptop with him and placed it on the hood of his car.

"Mr. Reese, Detective Carter, our friends are in the south corridor and were heading for the emergency exit, but their way out got blocked by about twenty men with assault rifles, surrounding them."

"This company, who are they?"

"It's a dummy corporation, it's a front for the Belgium's mafia, they hire different temp agencies to help launder their money without realizing it. They never keep any employee for longer than a month or two, which then the temporary workers are told their services are no longer needed to keep people from learning the truth. Mr. Tao figured it out, tried to skim some off the top, and they realized it." Joss noticed John's dark look telling her this was not the first time he had done something like this. They both looked over Finch's shoulders to eye the building's map he had on his laptop. He pointed to where Shaw, Fusco, and this Tao guy were stuck at. There were three entrances in total, the front, a side entrance, and a back which was for emergencies only which was the one their friends were trying to get too.

"If we split up we could take them by surprise." He pointed to the computer screen at the front entrance, and side entrance which was furthest from their friends' location.

"No, John, you'd be alone."

"I don't like it either, because you'd be alone, but if we can get a jump on them without their knowledge Fusco and Shaw can help after we draw fire towards us." She opened her mouth to argue some more, but he grabbed her free hand. "If anyone can handle about twenty guys wanting to shoot her it's you." She smiled at his compliment.

"You're just sucking up to me so I don't skin your ass later," she whispered linking their fingers together. The slow masculine smile on his face gave her the shivers, before she cleared her throat, and looked at Finch who had a peculiar smile on his own face as he watched them. She decided to ask him about it later, they had friends to save right now. "Show us the entrances, Finch." He nodded and they got back to business, which was to save their friends and this guy who John seemed to want to kill afterwards. They came up with a plan of attack. "Be careful John," she called out as he ran towards the side, while she needed to head in from the front.

"We have the rest of our date to finish tonight." It was his own way of acknowledging her worry without reassuring her he would be alright. She ran to the entrance that they mapped out, checking the magazine in the assault rifle, and slid her heels off before entering the building. She needed quiet she needed to sneak up on them as close as possible, which she couldn't do with heels. She entered light on her feet, running towards the south corridor where their friends were holed up in a room. She had to wait for John's signal, as they were connected to Shaw on a three-way. She heard John's soft voice. "Shaw, I'm entering the building from the west entrance, I'm going to be drawing their attention. Carter's entering from the front of the building."

"The moment you shoot, Fusco and I'll be ready to take some out while their eyes are on you and Carter."

"I'm in position, you ready Carter?" he spoke to her in a small whisper.

"Ready, John," she whispered, crouching in a doorway, seeing about five men directly in front of her with their backs to her. She heard gunfire, the men shouted as they swung their guns away from Shaw and Fusco's position aiming towards John's. She began firing at their kneecaps, hearing screams, and watched as Shaw and Fusco popped out from a room they had taken up residence in waiting for the cavalry. Shaw was squatting while Fusco was at full height, shooting some men that were close to their room, but had their eyes turned towards her and John. One turned and saw her, swinging his gun toward her, and she slid back into the room just as he fired rapidly at her. It splintered the wood of the doorframe.

"Joss, are you alright?" John sounded like he was running, loud gunshots rang through her earpiece nearly making her go deaf.

"Fine, he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn." She could swear she heard laughter coming from him, how could he laugh at a time like this! She laid on her stomach, glad for her jacket and vest to not get her dress dirty, and rolled out aiming up at the man's kneecap. He clearly had expecting her to pop out at full height, she rolled her eyes, what a moron. He screamed as he fell into a limp pile forming on the ground around him.

"Reese! Fusco and I are nearly out of bullets!" Shaw shouted.

"I'm working on them, Shaw." More gunfire rang out between her and John's assault rifles, mixing in with the ones from the bad guys'.

"Work faster, I'm hungry." She listened to Shaw and Reese, go back and forth bickering for a few minutes before he stopped abruptly. She took the last two down, before sliding from her position on the floor, and moved out of the room. Joss hurried towards the mess of screaming men, blood, and limp bodies. She could make out Shaw in the shadows of the room.

"It's all clear!" she shouted. Shaw nodded before she grabbed a small, Asian appearing man that she now remembered by the wrist, yanking him out, with Fusco directly behind him. "John where are you?" she demanded. He appeared from the opposite side of the same corridor, trying to weave his way through the groaning men.

"Right here," he moved to stand beside her. She didn't miss the hot look he was giving her, which made her very aware of the tingling feeling that was growing inside her. "You're badass, Joss." He murmured.

"Right back at you." They turned to walk side by side, before slowly exiting the office building with about twenty guys all moaning and groaning. They met up with Finch, Fusco, Shaw, and Mr. Tao by their cars after she put her heels of death back on.

Leon seemed to be ecstatic to see John as they made their way over to them. "Hey John, it's been a long time." From the way John was looking, she'd guess that it wasn't long enough in his book. But Finch sensed his intense urge to murder the man that they just saved because he ushered him well away from John's reach.

"Come on, you, we have the rest of our date to salvage." Joss grabbed his hand and tugged. The look he was sending Mr. Tao would make any sane person shrivel up in fear, but the man seemed to not take the hint. He was waving at him, before asking him to go out for a beer. "See you guys later and please don't call us," Joss told her friends. She had plans on having some dessert, sharing some conversation with John, and getting some action. The sweet kisses were very loving, but she wanted him to let go and kiss her the way she knew he wanted to.

"Wouldn't dream of it, I need you two to bang one another tonight." She felt John stiffen beside her. She almost asked what she meant by that, but before she could she felt John rip his hand from hers. She allowed her confusion to show, she saw Finch's disapproving look, while Fusco had the grace to look sheepish, and Shaw clearly had no idea what the big deal was. Then it hit her like a ton of bricks, Shaw was betting on what was going to happen between her and John.

"Who are you betting with Shaw?" Carter demanded.

"Fusco." Her eyes immediately flew to Fusco's. How dare they? How dare they make bets on their happiness, on their future, they were supposed to be their friends?! "You look mad." She shifted her gaze back onto Shaw, allowing her to know she wasn't mad, she was pissed off.

"Screw you both,"

"Carter!" she stormed to the other side of the John's car, ignoring Fusco completely, and slammed it shut. She was so angry but John's look was dark, lines were etched on his face, his body stiff, making her look mild in comparison.

He didn't say a word as he sped away from the parking lot, leaving Finch, Shaw, and Fusco behind. She knew Fusco would call it in with the NYPD, while Finch, along with Shaw, took Mr. Tao back to wherever he came from. Fusco was going to have to grovel at her feet for taking a bet with a woman that was so emotionally stunted she didn't realize betting on your friends' happiness was a major error in judgment. She had some damage control to do thanks to their stupid friends. She had gotten pissed by it, but she was worried that John would use what their friends were doing as a way to keep her at arm's length. Damn it, couldn't they just have kept this stupid bet to themselves, she knew John didn't view himself good enough for her but she was desperate to show him otherwise.

"John…" but he shook his head.

"I don't want to talk about it, not right now, Joss." He whispered in the dark car as he drove. "Please." She nodded her head, before gazing out the window at the passing scenery. After a moment she shifted her head and gaze to eye his profile. "What?" he let out a long drawn out sigh, like he was preparing himself for her to press him about what happened anyway, but she wasn't going to.

"So, when our date resumes do I get that tour, or do I get another dance out of you?"

"Whatever you want," he sounded so down, sounded weary almost.

"Good, I'm glad you said it like that, because I'm going to surprise you then."

* * *

Author's note: I had to have their second date be interrupted, I just couldn't help it. For one thing I think if they were ever a couple on the show I believe wholeheartedly that they would be interrupted a lot lol, and secondly I just love when Careese are badass together so I had to add it in somewhere. Chapter 8 resumes their date, resumes some talk between them, plus something slightly sexy(nothing too huge). There is only chapters 8 and 9 left. Well for some maybe just chapter 8 since if you don't like smut, then chapter 9 is NOT something you'll enjoy. I hope you guys stick around for chapter 9, because my friend Elaine and proofer seems to think rating it M is too mild }=P I went all out for our babies in chapter 9, I'll leave warnings just in case :D

I'm thinking of posting chapter 8 tomorrow, if not tomorrow than Monday for sure. But since I'm an evil tease here's a little glimpse of chapter 8:

**He opened his mouth to argue the point that he wasn't going to run from her, that if she'd stop yelling at him he could tell her he loved her, but she stood up on her tip toes, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.**

Okay time for me to skadaddle(I always wanted to say that lol), I got a house to clean(*sobs*) and some errands, then I'm thinking of reading some Careese fanfics out there I have some time to myself tonight(awww yeah). I haven't gotten a chance to read some new ones and I want to read anything Careese. Anyways, thanks for reading, reviewing, or what have you I adore you all.


	8. Eclairs and 'The Talk'

They walked back into his place, her mind was on fixing the problem that Fusco and Shaw created, get this 'talk' over with, guaranteeing her a place in his life, and maybe get a good old fashioned make-out session. She hadn't had an opportunity to just enjoy kissing a man in a very long time. Judging from his gentle kisses she was sure his kisses were an art-form when he let loose and she deeply wanted to experience it.

"Thanks for letting me lean on you, John." She slid the torturous heels back off her aching feet. She nearly moaned in ecstasy as her feet got to breathe. He smiled in answer as he slid his coat off, hanging it up onto the coat rack before motioning for hers. She slid hers off before handing it to him for him to hang it next to his giant one. She undid the bullet-proof vest, sliding it from her body, watching as John did the same. Their eyes were on each other, but neither spoke. Since she learned about this bet, John seemed to be more quiet than normal.

"You know you don't have to waste your time," he spoke so quietly she wasn't sure what he said and he didn't look her in the eye.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean coming back here, Joss, you don't have to pretend."

"Pretend?" He took the vest from her hands, walking away. "Hey, mister, shoes off or I'll feel obligated to wear mine too! You don't want your date to suffer do you?" No resulting smile, not a glimmer of the John that was here before they got the call to go save their friends. No John that was with her BEFORE they learned about the bet. "Forget about it." She dropped the teasing tone.

"Forget about the fact that our friends find it amusing to bet on what happens between us?" He angrily threw the vests back into the closet. He had left the assault rifles in his trunk when there had been too many watchful eyes out near his parking lot of his complex.

"It's their prerogative, it's tacky but Shaw is callous at times and Fusco wasn't thinking. It's harmless, John." He slammed the door shut to the closet. "Why are you so upset?"

"Besides the obvious?-that something that means everything to me, they find it inconsequential enough to bet on?" he growled before turning away from her. In his anger did he have any idea what he was saying? She felt warmth spread through her body. He walked toward his living room area, where their glasses of champagne remained, where the box of éclairs sat, and where they had been going to do this talk. In their haste to go save their friends they remembered to shut the stereo off but had forgotten about the dimmed lights. The soft glow cast shadows across his profile, making him appear even more tense, foreboding, and anxious. But she looked past all that seeing the vulnerable cracks on his face, in his armor, and it made her more determined than ever to get through to him.

"How about we forget about their bet, have a great rest of our date, and have fun getting even with them?" she suggested as she followed him towards his living area where he turned away from her to peer out the window. If she could just get him back to the mood he'd been in before they had gone out tonight, it would be easy sailing for the rest of the night. "You could make Shaw take some boring cases when you are back at full strength while I can make Fusco grovel at my feet." While she bargained, her gaze rested on his butt. She continued her slow progress over to him. She saw the tension seeping out of him. Joss picked up the glasses of champagne for them before making her way further over to him. She stepped directly behind him. "Please, I want to finish our date. I'm not going to let them ruin it for us, please forget about it for tonight...for me."

"You're right," he murmured. She miscalculated just exactly how close she was standing behind him because, as he turned around, his elbow smacked her left hand that held one of the two glasses of champagne she was currently holding, knocking it right into her dress, making her squeal as the cool liquid splashed across her chest. She had to bite her lip to keep from bursting out into full blown laughter at John's look. His face turned bright crimson, even his ears were turning red. His wide eyed and his utter look of horror made the fact that she just got champagne spilt on her the best thing to ever happen to her. Because all the tension over 'the bet' was gone, his hands were immediately going for her chest but stopped when he realized what he was doing. Instead his hands went for the champagne glasses. "I'm so sorry!" his eyes didn't meet hers as his voice was low and embarrassed.

"It's my fault, I didn't realize I was standing quite so close behind you," she assured him, trying to calm his embarrassment. "Where's your bathroom?" He pointed and she nodded. "Do you have laundry unit in this place?"

"I have my own washer and dryer." He pointed to a room behind the stairs nearest his front door. See, this was why she needed a tour, she hadn't even known that room was there.

"Would you mind putting my dress in your washer and dryer?"

"I can?"

"Yes," she assured. "This dress doesn't need dry cleaners, John, I'd be out of luck if it was the red dress from the other night, but this one I've had for a few years now, it's been through my washer and dryer a few times." He nodded, hurrying away while still avoiding contact, while she turned to walk towards where he pointed for the bathroom. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise. John was going to have to give her something to wear and she felt like she could skip to his bathroom in delight. She felt like a damned teenager again with the hottest boy in school. She entered his bathroom, sliding the door shut and turned the light on. Definite manly bathroom, his electric shaver lay on the small vanity along with a comb, some hair spray cans, shaving cream, and his intoxicating cologne. She slid her dress off and was left standing in her white bra and thong panties. A girl could hope she'd get lucky, even came prepared with a dozen condoms in her purse in hopes that if John wanted to have sex with her they'd have some on hand. She heard a soft knock on the door. "Joss, I got you one of my dress shirts, and a pair of my workout shorts to wear." She opened the door a crack, taking the shirt and shorts he held through it.

She shut the door once he took her dress to go put it in the washer and she eyed the dress shirt he gave her. It was black and so soft. She wondered why he never wore it. She slowly pulled his shirt on before buttoning it. The damn thing hung on her, the sleeves were well longer than her hands, making her roll them up. She flicked her hair out from under the shirt before fixing it a bit. She eyed his workout shorts, deciding that there was no way that these were going to stay on her hips, but she'd try. She pulled them up, before comically they fell down her hips. Well, she tried. She stepped back before bending to pick them up. She eyed the mirror and frowned a bit. She didn't look nearly as good in the shirt as she was sure John would. Well, this date was taking one unexpected turn after another, but she was going to go all out and be a sultry seductress in his shirt. "Go get him, girl, " she whispered to herself as she squared her shoulders before looking away from the mirror, grabbing the doorknob, and exiting the bathroom, determined to get an honest to goodness kiss from the man. 

* * *

Way to go, way to ruin a date; he didn't even have to worry about Shaw and Fusco's bet ruining it for him. He did it himself when he spilled champagne all over her. Good way of trying to overcome your self-doubt that you shouldn't be anywhere near her, he felt like a total klutz. With Zoe, Kara, hell even with Jessica he had never been so nervous and klutzy around them, why her? _Because you're not good enough for her and__ you'__re trying to be with her anyway_, his mind berated him. He crouched on the floor cleaning up the mess; he was so intent on beating himself up internally over what happened he didn't hear her come back into the room.

"You got me out of my dress on a second date, although not exactly the way I was hoping." He looked up and stared. He couldn't help it. His cock jerked, not from her words but because she stood before him with just his black dress shirt on as it engulfed her petite frame. The bottom reached the tops of her thighs, the sleeves she had rolled at her wrists so they didn't cover her hands, and her long dark hair was flowing over her shoulders. "Thanks for your workout shorts, but they didn't exactly stay on my hips." He cleared his throat, looking away, desperately needing a distraction as all the blood was flowing south. His clothes on her looked hot as hell.

"Uh-yeah, sorry about spilling champagne on you," he murmured, looking down and resuming cleaning his floor.

"It's okay, it was my fault anyway." He could feel her presence close by. He slowly stood to his full height, turning but purposely keeping his eyes off her as he made a beeline for his trash bin.

"Your dress is in the washer." He kept preoccupied by taking his time throwing away the paper toweling he used to clean up the mess.

"Thanks, so John…" he turned slowly mentally preparing himself for seeing her in his clothing. Nope, it didn't work. He wondered if she could tell that his cock was hardening painfully as he looked at her. She was seated on his couch, her legs pulled up under her, her right hand resting under her cheek while the other patted beside her on the couch. "Come here." When no reason came to him as to why he couldn't, he cleared his throat and walked towards her. He could do this, he could sit next to her on the couch while she looked like some damned goddess, and talk with her. He slowly sat down beside her. "Okay, seriously, John, please take your shoes off, I'm not even in my dress anymore, I'm feeling a little under dressed here."

"Sure," his eyes dipped to her breasts that he could see a hint of under his shirt. His eyes quickly fled to his shoes. He had them undone and off with his socks remembering her comment about thinking of him sexy barefoot in a matter of moments, before he leaned back. She had taken the time to pour more champagne in the one glass and held his out to him.

"A toast to the rest of our date going exactly as planned."

"I'll drink to that." He sure hoped nothing else like getting called away by Shaw and Finch, or spilling champagne all over her would happen. "So, would you like that tour?"

"Later." He eyed his watch seeing it closing in on ten-thirty, going to save Fusco, Shaw, and Leon had taken over an hour. "I want dessert." His eyes lit up. He had wanted one of those damned éclairs since she brought them. He did have an almost embarrassing weakness for chocolate.

"Thought you'd never want one." He leaned forward, pulling the lid off the box, grabbing a delicious looking éclair to hand her. Before he could move forward again she stopped him. She held the one in her hand, her body was angled towards his and he knew instantly what she wanted. "Joss, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?" Because it was way too intimate, because he was trying to ignore his arousal at seeing her in his clothes, because feeding each other would lead to him wanting to kiss her and not a simple brushing of their lips. She moved closer to him, his eyes were on her, seeing the desire radiating from them, and he opened his mouth. She moaned softly as she slid about half the éclair into his open mouth; he bit down and sighed. These damn things were delicious. He opened his eyes before scowling as she popped the rest of the éclair into her mouth. "What?" she asked after swallowing the dessert.

"Oh so you can feed me, but I can't feed you?" She shrugged.

"It's insanely hot feeding and watching you eat, John." He leaned forward grabbing an éclair out of the box withholding it from her outstretched hand. "Fine, one." He leaned into her, holding out the éclair for her and she opened wide as her eyes were on his. She bit down, taking some into her mouth before chewing. Her tongue flicked out to lick at the chocolate on her top lip. That was it. He threw the half eaten éclair back into the box, standing up and escaping her. "What's wrong?"

"You're making this so damned difficult."

"I'm making what difficult?"

"Joss, I'm trying to wait, but you are making it damned near impossible to not want to kiss you, to tear your clothes off, and be inside you." He ground out. He realized his voice was getting louder with each word so he forced himself to relax. "You're not just sex for me."

"I never thought I was. I hate to tell you this but your eyes give you away, John. I know how you feel about me, I know I'm more than just a sexual conquest for you." She slowly stood up. Did that mean what he thought it meant? Did she know he was in love with her and she came on this date anyway?

"Do you know what I wanted to talk about before we were interrupted?" he asked very quietly.

"Yes, you are determined to push me away and I'm not having any of it." He blinked in surprise. He hadn't been going to push her away. In the past it would have been what he would have done if he hadn't opened up to her in the morgue or on their first date. But he was determined to try to shed old habits that died hard, he wanted her, he loved her. "When you get hurt you run away, when people get too close you run away, well John, it's time to stop running away. You've been running for so long you don't know anything else and I get that, I do, but you should know if you run I'll follow."

"I wasn't going to push you away."

"Uh-huh,"

"That's the truth, Joss." He tried to snuff the growing irritation that she wouldn't believe him. After everything he told her on the first date, did she really think he would turn around and run away?

"What about after you learned about the bet, you sure seemed ready to push me away after that?"

"I knew about the bet before the date took place, I almost cancelled it but I didn't because I am so tired of being alone. I wanted to see you tonight." She moved forward to stand directly in front of him. He towered over her, making her lean her head back as she crossed her arms across her chest and he wanted to grab her.

"So why were you so upset when we got back here?"

"I got angry when Shaw mentioned it because I had forgotten about it, it was like a distant memory and when she announced needing me to _bang_ you tonight, it just reminded me that everyone knows it's a joke to think a woman like you could want to be with a man like me." He helplessly shrugged. It was how he felt. He knew she could have any guy she wanted, yet she chose to share her time with him, he felt honored. It was now or never, he cleared his throat. "Joss, I…" but his declaration was interrupted with her jabbing her index finger hard into his belly angrily.

"No, John, I don't want to hear it! That's not my opinion, it's your opinion of yourself! You're allowing this bet to get into your head because it reaffirms in your mind that you aren't good enough for me. Why not allow me to choose whether you're good enough or not for me? Because you know I'd choose to be with you! You're not this terrible monster that should be locked up, because he's a terror to everyone he meets, you're just a man that has lived a hard life. It's time to grow up, stop running away from your life, and live it with me." He opened his mouth to argue the point that he wasn't going to run from her, that if she'd stop yelling at him he could tell her he loved her, but she stood up on her tip toes, wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

He sucked in a breath as his hands landed on her hips while she pulled his head down so it was easier for her to kiss him. Her lips were incessant on his, her pelvis bumped his which seemed to make his brain take a serious hit at functioning correctly. He broke the kiss, pushing back.

"Now will you let me speak?" he demanded.

"As long as it doesn't go along these lines," she paused, lifting her hand up to drive home her point as she gave him her stipulations. "Joss I don't want to be with you, Joss I'm not good enough for you, Joss you should leave, and or Joss let's just be friends. If you so much as utter one of those, that fine ass of yours is mine." He felt his lips twitch. "Are you laughing?" she snarled and his urge to snicker fled.

"No," he said solemnly.

She nodded as she crossed her arms across her chest. "Good, now what do you want to say?"

"What I want to tell you, what I want to discuss with you is not about me pushing you away or me telling you that I just want to be your friend, Joss. I'm not sure if I can ever go back to being just your friend, too much has happened and what I feel for you is not friendship."

"Okay, this is good." She smiled softly. "You may continue."

"You're beautiful, intelligent, a smart ass, you keep me on my toes, and you make me strive to be a better man."

"John you do that yourself because you are a good man, you just need to believe in yourself again." She reached out to touch him but he grabbed her hand in his. "So far everything you're saying is almost too good to be true, so where's the other shoe?"

"What?"

"When will the other shoe drop, where is the BUT that I can hear coming from a mile away."

"You're a pessimist."

She laughed he was pleased he could make her laugh like that. "Try realist, John."

"No, I was right the first time, you're a pessimist and you always have to be right. I guess that's the stubborn thing you talked about. It's okay though, I love you despite it," he whispered.

"Oh really now, you love me despite _**me**_ being a pessimist and stubborn. Well look who's talking, Mr. Doom and Gloom all the time; who, by the way, is more stubborn than a mule!" she sniffed. He waited, wondering how long he'd have to wait for her to comment on the fact that he said he loved her. Her eyes suddenly widened when it finally slid home what he said. Her hand tightened in his. "John?"

"Joss, I love you." Her mouth opened and he put his finger against her lips to quiet her. "Let me finish okay, please." She nodded slowly and he dropped his finger down. "Just because I love you, doesn't mean I expect you to say it back, to feel pressured by me, because that's not my intention. I just wanted you to know that I love you, I think I fell for you the second I met you. You impacted my life so greatly, so profoundly in that moment, Joss, that every time our paths crossed since I fell deeper and more in love with you."

"Can I speak now, John?"

"Yes."

"Are you positive?"

"Are you asking me if I'm positive I love you?"

"Yes, because, John, you're not exactly an emotionally available guy, you hide your feelings. Are you ready to let me in fully, are you sure?"

"I'm not saying it will be easy for me, Joss, it's been a long time for me to care or be cared about. But I'll try my hardest for you, because you're worth the risk, and I want to be with you." He pressed his lips against hers, softly at first before he deepened the kiss, lovingly and tenderly kissing her before stepping back. "I'll do anything for you."

"I know."

"So you're willing to take your time with me, Joss?"

"Of course, John. I love you too, you know." He smiled crookedly.

"Yeah, so is that why you gave me that list of demands?"

"Maybe," she wrapped her arms around his neck. "So, John, this is the first night of our rest of our lives together, what are we going to do with it?" she purred.

"I'm sure we can figure something out."

"I'm sure we can, with our two brains we can figure something to do together." He leaned down capturing her lips with his, ready to show her exactly what she meant to him, and it felt like he started a new life. Replacing his old life with this new one, he was ready to live his life to the fullest with this woman by his side, forever and always. 

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Author's note: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww yay a happy ending for our babies :) I wanted to have a solid ending for those who will not continue to chapter 9 when I change the rating to M for the smut. I know there are some that hate reading smut, who might have been reading this since chapter 1 and I felt everyone deserves a nice ending. And for those who are patiently waiting for the smut...chapter 9 will be posted sometime today. I want to give both endings today since you guys have been so patient for the smut, I surely hope it is worth the wait :)

Thank you for reading, and if you are finished here I appreciate the time you took to read my story, leave a comment, follow, favorite or what have you. I adore you guys XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

And for those who will continue to chapter 9:be prepared for warnings at the beginning, I've been told its kind of hot :D


	9. Epilogue(Sexy Times)

_****************************************WARNING PLEASE READ THIS ALERT 1ST***********************************************_

_**LOL, this feels like a public service announcement :D but anyways the reason I did this is to uh-warn everyone who might be a casual smut reader that this could be slightly hot. As I wrote this smut chapter I didn't exactly see it as too hot to handle but I was advised by my friend Elaine that it's definitely hot, that she self-ignited(I love you Elaine you always crack me up). I guess I was in the moment writing this going all out for our babies, that I couldn't leave well enough alone! I'm currently writing a new smut oneshot for these two that I feel is hotter than this, because I'm even pausing in the middle of writing it(which has never happened in any smut writing I've done before)...but that won't be posted for at least a few days maybe weeks depending on quick I can finish it(its nearly complete), and my friend can proof it for me :D**_

_**Uh, so the rating says M, but I'm thinking to go on the safe side of saying M+ definitely NC-17, so if this is not your thing, please run away now, I'm warning everyone, even the smut lovers out there I'm trying to make sure people don't hate me. Please don't hate me for what you are about to read, I hope its somewhat tasteful! Okay, with that being said, I hope to hear from you guys, to see if anyone made it to the other side with me!**_

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She could contentedly stare into this man's beautiful eyes forever and never grow tired of it. But she had to admit she was hoping that tonight would end with them in his bed. She nibbled across his jawline where his five o'clock shadow was deepening. This date had its ups and downs, but overall it was perfect.

"Joss..."

"Hmmm?"

"You want more eclairs?" As tempting as those sweets were, John was an even better treat.

"Later," she murmured feeling his hands on her hips gently massaging them. With her arms raised to wrap around his neck, his shirt he lent to her lifted so a nice cool breeze crossed her almost bare bottom causing a shiver. He jumped when a buzzer went off, then smiled.

"Your dress," he slid from her arms making her pout softly while he turned, hurrying to his laundry room that was hidden behind the staircase that probably lead to nowhere since she hadn't gotten her tour yet. When he reappeared, she grinned. "Your dress is in the dryer, I read the directions on the tag." She nodded, immediately wrapping her arms around his neck again, while he slid his hands into her hair.

"Thanks, and you still owe me a tour," She leaned into him feeling a burgeoning erection, but he dropped his hands from in her hair to his sides. "But that can wait, I want something else instead."

"Are you sure?" Their eyes connected, he was only standing inches from her, but he didn't touch her in any way. She felt like she was dying here. He was so close yet not touching her, her brown gaze met his blue one evenly. "If you don't want me, if it's too soon for this, just speak the words and I'll stop." His voice was low, raspy, and filled with emotion.

"John," she whispered, searching his face. She didn't know what words to say to accurately express to him how ready she was. So she didn't say anything, she lifted her hands, noting the slight tremble in her fingers, before she slid her fingertips down his body to grab and yank until his shirt was freed from its prison of being tucked inside his pants. She slid her fingers beneath the fabric of his dark gray dress shirt, and unbuttoned the top button. His eyes never left hers, she kept hers steady on his as she unbuttoned each button until his shirt fell open and she finally slid her adoring gaze down. Damn, he had a nice body, muscles and a slight tan, mixed with scars that she had wanted to lick and kiss ever since he showed her that one in the morgue. She pushed the shirt off his broad shoulders, it slid down his frame without much help from him. He stood motionless, in just his dress pants.

She slid her hands onto his hips, leaning into him so she could whisper in his ear. "I've never been more ready for anything in my entire life." The soft sound he made was like music to her ears. His mouth crashed down on hers, devouring it, and she moaned. John Reese was a great kisser with a soft, tender, loving kiss; but this kiss was passionate, intense, and sending spikes of heat cascading through her body before pooling between her legs. They both took a tiny step forward to get closer, his hands cradling her neck, and cupping her cheek, while hers were on his shoulders clasping tightly. He broke the kiss just to shift his head to the side before taking her mouth with his again. She nearly forgot her own name; his mouth was seducing her, his lips were a fine mixture of firm but soft and his tongue swept across the seam of her closed lips tantalizingly. He teased her as she opened her mouth, his tongue never venturing in as he was playfully willed her to be the aggressor.

Her hands slid into his short, soft, and wonderful hair as she plunged her tongue into his mouth. Her back hit the window, feeling the cold draft coming from it, when she realized she was pulling him towards her to get him closer. His pelvis ground into her belly, she felt him hardening and she felt light headed. She struggled to draw in air through her nostrils as she tangled her tongue with his, but he broke away leaning his forehead against hers. She found the scar he got from the Hezzbolah surgeon with her index finger before tracing it with her tongue. His muted sigh was enough to tell her he enjoyed her tongue on his body. She found another scar on his other side, tracing that one with her tongue. She pressed a sweet kiss to the new wound at his shoulder before catching his flat, hard nipple between her teeth for a moment before releasing it.

"Oh god," his voice had grown lower, huskier, sexier. He took a step back which she did not agree with, but realized he wanted to take her shirt off. She wasn't done exploring the wide expanse of his chest, she had several more scars to lick and kiss, but she knew John. He wasn't going to let her explore more until he got to do some exploring of his own. Joss silently watched him. His fingers trembled. This wasn't just sex for them, they were making love, he wasn't used to allowing anyone to see, the real him. His eyes met hers as she grabbed his hands, pulling them to her chest to undo the top button of his shirt. She kept her smaller hands on his while he worked the button free of the hole. When the button parted he leaned down brushing his warm, soft lips against her skin. Her hands lifted from his, grabbing in his hair. Okay, that was unexpected and felt so good. She moaned when she felt his tongue circle the flesh between his lips, as he worked another button undone. His tongue trailed the valley between her breasts, making her squirm with the need of having his mouth on her breasts. He kissed his way down and continued mindlessly blowing her world apart with each new button undone.

When he finally had the shirt parted to push off her shoulders, she was breathing heavy and moaning his name softly in his ear. Her bra was still on, her nipples hard and straining against the silky white fabric. "You're killing me," she whispered in his ear as he palmed her breasts.

"I hope not." he murmured as his thumbs worked her nipples through the fabric, making her bite her lip to keep from cursing at him. He nipped her chin before capturing her lips in a searing kiss while she raked her nails down his back. She bumped into him, hard, loving the harsh groan he made that she swallowed. His hands were cupping, pinching, and palming her breasts through her bra while his kiss left them both breathless as they finally broke apart. His hair was rumpled thanks to her hands clutching in it. He stepped back, abandoning her aching breasts much to her dismay before getting to his knees. She moaned as he traced her scar from that land mine with his tongue. He traced every rigid and jagged length of it. She was panting, no man ever kissed the scar, no man ever found it pleasing. But she had never been with a man like John before, who treated her like a treasure he was worried would fade from his life.

"Get up, it's my turn." She tugged on his shoulder. His eyes lifted first before he slowly got up pressing warm open mouth kisses on her belly, her bra covered breasts, then her neck, and finally her mouth. She had exploring to do of his wonderful body, she trailed her hands across his biceps, loving the sinewy muscles as she licked the roof of his mouth. He stepped back fully. "Hey!" His lips were wet looking from hers which she was sure hers appeared as well. But the devil incarnate licked his lips making her groan.

"I thought you wanted that tour," he murmured.

"Not now, forget it, kiss me more." She moaned as he took her hand before turning to gently tug her towards the front entrance. How could he just drive her wild, rub against her with that hard on, lick her body, and then just turn it off? He was nuts. He might have some self-control, but she had wanted him and was downright determined to get into his pants tonight. He showed her to his laundry room where her dress was in the dryer. "Pretty standard, okay, tour is done," she said near agony. She felt like a child that just got their favorite toy ripped from them just as they got started to play with it. She was too tiny compared to him to pull him to the bed herself, she'd just have to use her feminine wiles to get him to forget about this useless tour.

"You'll enjoy the tour, I promise," he assured her before he yanked her to him, causing a startled yelp to escape her before lifting her up onto his running dryer. She bit her lip hard to keep from moaning, as vibrations from the dryer were a definite unique experience. He stepped between her legs his mouth was level with her breasts. "This is my laundry room, Joss," he explained as he slid his arms around her, going for the bra clasp. Oh god, yes, go for the bra! She felt her bra loosening before he pushed back to help it slide from her. "Wow." She couldn't help but smile softly at him. In that one word, it made it sound like he was a virgin again, seeing breasts up close for the first time.

"John," his name was torn from her as he palmed her naked breasts again, but this time with his soft hands on her, sending pinpricks of desire down her spine.

"You're perfect, Joss." She leaned her hands behind her, thrusting her breasts out forward as she sat on the very edge of the dryer. His index fingers and thumbs on each hand were pinching, plucking, and rolling her nipples causing her to go insane.

"God, stop being a tease," she begged, her eyes on his darkening irises. They were almost sapphires, she didn't miss the amusement in them that mixed with the desire. He licked his lips, sending a rocket of heat through her, making her squirm as more wetness escaped her, pooling into her panties. The vibrations beneath her and his mouth inches from her breast were nearly unraveling her. His hot breath was fanning across her nipple, her hands dug into his short hair, scraping at his scalp. "Please!"

"All you had to do was ask," he whispered, his mouth descended, licking playfully at her one nipple. She gasped as he licked, then swirled, before sucking gently. She ran her hands down his back loving the feel of his mouth on her breast.

"Oh, yes, John, don't stop, please," she gasped when his tongue licked its way to her other breast, teasing the puckered distended peak by swirling his tongue around the areola not quite touching her aching nipple, before suddenly sucking hard. Before it started to become painful his mouth became gentler, then gave each of her pebbled nipples a soft loving kiss. The vibrations of the running dryer weren't forgotten as she cried out as it tumbled, and John's one hand slid between her legs lightly and teasingly brushing her. He kissed her breast one last time, before pushing back away a little.

"There's more to see," he mumbled, looking ready to pounce on her, but also determined to give her this damn tour. He grabbed her hips helping her down, which she immediately took advantage of, her arms latched around his neck and her mouth was on his, searching for hidden treasure inside. She rubbed into him, seeing how hard he was getting, she was happy with the progress. He let out a soft moan before abruptly pushing out of the kiss to tug her gently from the laundry room. "Come along, Joss, you wanted this tour."

"Yeah, don't remind me," she huffed as she wrapped an arm around his waist while he still held her right hand in his. She wished she was left handed because she desperately tried to work his damned button on his pants. She wanted in them this instant. He tugged her to his kitchen. "I've seen this, show me your bed, please, I really want to get acquainted with it." She would beg if she had to. This little sexy tour he was doing was killing her. She knew being with John would blow apart any previous sexual encounter she had, but who knew this man could be this loving, this cute, and this sexy all rolled into one.

"It's a part of the tour," he whispered seductively. "Joss, this is my kitchen and where I eat." No, duh, she wanted to snarl, but she was holding herself in check. The minute he let her go, her hands were going for his crotch.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, good, whatever, John. For the love of god, take me to your bed." He let go of her one hand and her hands immediately dove for his pants, but he stopped her.

"It's my tour, you can give me a tour of your place whenever I'm over there." She let out a startled sound when he lifted her high up and placed her on his countertop. The coldness making her flinch a little as his hands went for her panties, tugging them down her long legs. "It's time to feast." He flung her panties somewhere in his kitchen. "Lean up on your forearms." he stepped back, as she did as he requested. She lifted up, their gazes met, she was high up off the ground, her legs dangled off the side of the kitchen island countertop. He turned, reaching into a cabinet before turning around slowly as he slid her a downright sinful grin. "I have a weakness for chocolate." He held the Hershey's syrup and she moaned.

"I'm your dessert." She moaned as he turned the bottle upside down before squeezing a generous amount out onto her breasts. She squealed at the feel of the sticky but sweet substance. His tongue was everywhere at once. She remained leaning up on her forearms like John wanted as her head flung back while she moaned. He hadn't stepped between her legs, instead he rounded the kitchen island making it easier to lick her body. His hand slid between her legs while his mouth sucked, licked and kissed up as much chocolate as he could. She cried out loudly as he fingered her. His thumb rubbed her clitoris in circles before he sunk one finger deep inside her.

"You're so wet," he groaned against her breast, before sinking a second finger deep inside her. After a few minutes of his pleasuring her, getting her panting, his hand slid from her; she immediately missed his touch. She groaned in protest that ended in a hiss of pleasure as she watched him lick his fingers clean of her. "Mmmm, I'm ready to taste more."

"No, John…the bed." She wiggled a little but he squirted more of that damn chocolate syrup this time between her legs. She gasped as it slid down, dipping intimately.

"My new favorite dessert, chocolate covered Joss." He murmured as he spread her legs apart, leaning down and licked her. His name was a loud, harsh, nearly unrecognizable sob from her. She grabbed on each side of the countertop as her hips surged. His tongue explored everywhere the chocolate ran to. She felt his tongue licking the seam of her entrance, the tip of his tongue pushed into her. It felt too good, the tension between her legs coiled tighter and tighter, he wasn't even stimulating her clitoris like she usually needed.

He licked her labia lazily, sending her over the edge easily, her cries were loud as she came. It felt like she exploded, the orgasm that flooded her system was so intense she saw stars. His name was shouted from her so loudly she was sure the next state heard her. He licked her inner thighs as she came down from her high. "You okay?" he whispered as he stood up fully. She didn't bother answering him. She sat up on the countertop, kissing him desperately.

She moaned as he shared her taste (and a hint of chocolate) with her; her hands touching him through his pants, feeling him hard as a steel rod before trying to undo his button and zipper. He broke the kiss to moan when she abandoned trying to undo his button, instead palming him through his pants. "Joss..."

"I love you," she breathed into his ear, loving the shudder he gave. John's reaction to her was beautiful, like he couldn't believe someone could love him, which made her love him even more. "I need you inside me." He scooped her up into his arms, her arms and legs wrapped tightly around his neck and back respectively as she pressed hot kisses against his face before sucking hard at his shoulder while he carried her to his bed.

"Last stop on the tour," his hoarse voice was so low, so raspy, so hot! She felt him yank at his comforter before he laid her down upon his bed. He undid his pants before sliding them down free of him. He was so hard his boxer-briefs were bulging. She fingered the elastic, but moaned in protest as he climbed onto the bed and moved out of her reach.

"No, please John." Her legs snapped closed when he went to part them.

"Spread your legs," he demanded softly.

"I can't…I need you in me."

"Jocelyn, spread your legs, " he commanded, she whimpered, spreading her legs wide apart for him. He laid down between her legs. "I wasn't done tasting you, you don't wish to rob me of my dessert now do you?"

"If only you promise I get mine," she grabbed desperately at the sheet beneath her.

"Of course," he assured, blowing softly against her. His fingers spread her lips apart and she felt his chin rubbing against her clitoris, he was using his stubble against her. She squirmed at the sensation.

"Stop, please, oh god John!"

"You know, Joss, I was taught to restrain myself to my breaking point." He licked her clit teasingly. She writhed in abandon under his torturous mouth. "I'm nearly there," his voice was trembling as if doing this to her was literally at his breaking point. "So you're going to need to come quickly."

She screamed, she couldn't help it. John's mouth had been teasingly licking her clit, when he clamped his lips down hard on her and sucked. She clawed the bed while her hips undulated and rolled up into his mouth. No problem coming quickly, his mouth was skillful at cunnigulus. "Yes…John…yes!" she shouted as liquid fire raced up her spine, as she came apart for the second time within ten minutes. Her entire body shuddered beneath him as he sucked and wrung every last whimper, tremor, and spasm from her orgasm. Finally he sat up.

"I can't wait any longer," he said through gritted teeth. Her hands helped push his boxer-briefs down before he kicked them off the bed. His cock was beautiful. He was thick, long, veins bulged, he was perfect. She touched him, loving the moan he let out as he leaned over to the nightstand near his bed, yanking out a condom. Her hand lightly stroked him, loving the velvety feel of him, knowing he wasn't going to last very long inside her. Their next time she was going to be on top, riding him until he saw stars, but for now she'd give him what was left of his dessert. He carefully rolled a condom onto his thick shaft, made more difficult to his shaking hands. When he finished he pushed her onto her back while she bent her knees.

He teased her opening, she was so slick from her two previous orgasms he easily slid an inch inside her. He moaned softly at the feel of her over his tip. "You're so perfect, so tight."

"You too, John." She struggled to breathe regularly. But she was panting from her orgasm, now she was nearly downright winded with his slow progress inside her. Then all of a sudden he rammed into her without warning. She screamed his name as she clamped her teeth hard into his shoulder. He groaned in pain but she didn't care. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he began thrusting.

"I love you." His hands bit into her hips as he thrust deep, fast, and hard. Her breasts rubbed against his chest as he worked himself in and out of her. "Look at me," he gasped his command and she was helpless but to comply. She pushed from biting his shoulder to eye him. She saw the dilated pupils, saw the redness to his skin, saw the sweat slicking his body just as hers was, heard the quickness to his breath, felt his rhythm inside her grow quicker, tighter, drawing nearer to his orgasm. He wanted to stare into her eyes as he lost himself inside her. She loved this man even more. He was cracking himself wide open, showing her everything he was feeling inside. His mouth slackened as he moaned her name loudly, he was bucking inside her. She never broke eye contact with him as she leaned her head down, kissing where his heart was thundering, her hands on his perfect ass as he worked inside her. His body stiffened as her name escaped his throat loudly, as she felt his cock jerk deep within her, just as the rest of his body shuddered. She wrapped her legs tightly around his hips lovingly, he was so open to her as he came. She saw the love in his eyes, saw the way the orgasm took over. It was sexy as hell. After a few minutes he collapsed on top of her and she hugged him even closer to him if that was possible.

He was panting, gasping, as was she, but she was happy to be weighed down by him. After a few minutes he lifted himself off her and gently curled her into him.

"That was amazing,"

"Yes it was," he agreed as they both struggled to regulate their breathing.

"So, John, when do I get to give you a 'tour' of my place? I get to do anything I want to you and you can't say no, right?" His eyes slid to hers as he lightly stroked his fingers into her sweat soaked hair.

"Yes," his sexy low voice held promise.

"Good, I have some…ideas." He chuckled as he shook his head a little before rolling over and standing up.

"I'll be right back." He whispered into her ear. She leaned up to kiss him before watching him walk naked to his bathroom. When he came back he had disposed of the condom and was carrying a warm wash cloth. He gently wiped the remnants of the chocolate from her body before flinging the wash cloth onto the floor, and climbed back into bed, yanking the comforter over them. She contentedly snuggled into him.

"When do I get my dessert?" she snuggled closer, pressing warm kisses against his hot skin.

"What do you want for dessert?"

"You flat on your back as I ride you till you see nothing but fireworks." She nibbled at his chin before catching his lower lip between her teeth. She slid a hand down beneath the comforter, between his legs and felt him stirring. "Mmmm," she let go of his lip with a slight plop. "I guess I'll be getting my dessert soon."

"I think so, my love. I think so. But first, if you're up to it, I want to give you a tour of my bathroom."

"I know _you_ are," she lightly stroked him. She was plucked from the bed so she delicately wrapped her arms around his neck. "I can't wait to get acquainted with your shower stall, don't forget your living room couch too, and your stairs." She whispered as she nibbled his earlobe.

"That's a given."

"Then I'll get my dessert, right?"

"Anything for you, Joss, anything."

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Author's note: Anybody here? Anybody make it over...I got the idea of the tour in my head when I couldn't fit it in their date, so I turned it sort of sexy :D But this is the part where I said I have an oneshot in mind for this story besides the golf one and the dancing. Joss' tour :D Which I have written well mostly written...its got a plot too not just sexy times so yay. I'm not sure when that will be posted maybe a week or two from now, maybe sooner. Not terribly sure.

Well I hope that was worth the wait :) Thank you for reading!


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